ambivalent | hes

34

Harry was sentenced to a year in jail.

It wasn't surprising. Everyone in that court room knew he was going to have to do some time, but we were all surprised when he got only a year. But I'm not complaining. It's better than doing time for the rest of his life.

I visited him whenever I could. He would tell me about books he had been reading to pass the time, and I would tell him about all the things happening in my life. My new car. The colleges I've applied for. Bea and Louis. My apartment. He would always listen. He was always a good listener.

I visited my father's grave sight a few days after the trial. It was a while since I've been there. I left some roses at his tombstone. They were his favorite flower. I just sat infront of the rock with his name engraved across the front, telling him about everything that was happening in my life. And when I brought up Harry, it almost felt like he was there, and he approved of him.

But now, Harry gets out in two days. I couldn't wait to see him, to finally hug him. It'll be a lot better than being separated by a glass window.

I smile at the thought of finally seeing him as I get ready for my doctors appointment. Dr. Santiago said he had some news for us.

"Are you ready?" My mother called from the living room of my apartment I had gotten five months ago.

"Almost!" I call back.

I finish the final touches on my makeup before grabbing my bag and going into the living room. I met my mother by the door and we went out to the car.

Once we arrived, I was called back immediately. This was surprising since I usually had to wait a good half an hour. I suddenly started to feel worried.

"Hello, Mrs. Dean." Dr. Santiago said to my mother as we entered his office.

"Hello, Steven." She replied. She was really close with him.

"Please, have a seat." He offered as he sat down behind his desk.

I sat down and took a deep breath and prepared for the "news".

"We discovered a major problem during your last visit." He said to me. Oh god. What does he mean a "major problem"?

"Is there something wrong?" My mother asked.

He paused for a second, then continued to speak.

"Unfortunately, it seems as if the pills are no longer working."

My heart sunk. I looked at my mother and her face was blank. I took her hand in mine and she smiled a sad smile at me.

"I'm very sorry." He said. "If there is anything you would like us to do, please do not hesitate to ask. You have my full support."

The room was quiet for a moment, then it hits me. This means I'm..

No. I wouldn't think like that.

"H-how much longer does she have?" My mother spoke, her voice trembling as tears threatened to spill out over her eyes.

"Our calculations have estimated about seven days, but it could happen sooner. That is unless we find a donor."

"How will we know when its time?" I asked, but my voice was barely a whisper.

"You'll experience the normal symptoms you get when you don't take the pill regularly."

He then explained that they have been looking for a donor, but have had no luck. While he talks, my mind lingers back to Harry. How do I tell him? Do I tell him? I have to, just in the best way possible. If they don't find a donor, which I'm praying they do, I want to spend my last few days with the people I love.

You can do it, I mentally urge my heart, the heart that belongs to Harry.