Enemies With Benefits | Lee Haechan

prove it

5:47

After spending most of the afternoon in detention, supervised by no other person than her home room teacher, Chaerin was slowly beginning to get bored of constantly worrying about the fight that was bound to occur with her parents when she got home.

a knock on the classroom door made her look up from the blank pages where she wrote out the rules of the school from her homework journal almost 102 times by now.

"sir, there's a maintenance issue in the boys locker room" the familiar voice said, making her look immediately to avoid the gaze. the teacher mumbled something before jiggling keys and leaving the classroom.

the sound of footsteps slowly walking over towards her made her gulp and she was soon looking at a pair of slightly red and bony hands planted on the table as the body towered over her.

"you can't even look at me huh?" Haechan mumbled to himself more than her as his fingers tapped impatiently against the table.

"I'll say this once and I won't say it again. follow me" haechan said with a slight slam on the table, walking away from her. Chaerin sighed as she looked up

"I can't leave...I don't want to get in more trouble" she said and he scoffed

"that's not my problem" he muttered, taking his car keys in his hands before walking out of the classroom, looking back a few times to make sure she was following him. and she was, head down and slow steps, afraid of everything around her, including him.

"where are we going?" she asked as she stared at him opening the passenger side door of his car for her. he sighed and left the door open while walking to the driver's side and seating himself in. she eventually followed him as he started the car.

the ride was silent, neither of them dared to look at each other but the tension was killing them both. as he neared the destination, he was becoming increasingly angry. he hadn't been here in years and last time he was here he was crying, screaming and blaming himself for not having hurt the person that drove hyesoo crazy enough to kill herself. now he was in the car with that very person, yet he couldn't hurt her, he hated that.

"get out" haechan snarled, parking his car and dragging her out by holding onto her wrist. ignoring her pleas to go back to the car, he dragged her up the cemetery hill to where the grave which was never left undecorated by her parents.

"haechan please, it's raining really bad let's ju-"

"shut up and follow me!" he shouted making her sigh, her hot tears mixing with the terrible weather that had rain droplets flying around both of them.

"you said you're sorry right?" he asked, coming to a stop as he watched her body shake under the cool air

"prove it. prove that you're fucking sorry" he glared at her before stepping aside and letting her eyes meet the carved headstone with the name bae hyesoo on it.

"h-how...?" she muttered with a slight gasp as she saw it beautifully decorated with bright flowers, making it look more alive, completely contradicting the other graves in the cemetery

"I....I don't....I don't know how I can prove it" she whispered, slowly kneeling to the ground, not worrying about her bare knees planting on the mud.

"I don't know how I can take it all back...i really wish i did but i don't" she said, coming to terms that what she did is irreversible.

"I'm sorry" she apologised, to hyesoo, to haechan, to her family, to anyone else in middle school that she gave a hard time to...to the whole world that she thought she was the centre of when she was young, that's all she was taught to know.

"I really tried to change...I tried my hardest to learn my lesson and turn my life around. I thought it was getting better, I could finally sleep properly, I could finally eat, walk, breathe and just...live without feeling guilty every second of my life" she cried and haechan let out a pained sigh as he listened to her sobs as her voice grew louder.

"hyesoo....you always had it all...you had a good family, parents who cared about you, you always wore the brightest smile even though I was making your world fall apart and these stupid purple butterfly clips" she cried with a pained chuckle, haechan smiled at the memory of his best friend

"you didn't deserve anything I said...you didn't deserve to have your life ruined by now, you didn't deserve to die. I’m sorry hyesoo, i know what it feels like now. I know how it feels to be tortured and i’m sorry i ever put you through that. If i could turn back time i could….if i could even switch places with you i would-”

“Chaerin don’t….don’t say that” haechan said, placing a hand on her shoulder but she only shook it off

“Why? Its the truth. I deserve to be down there, not her” she cried and haechan sighed, taking off his jacket and placing it over her shoulders, pulling her to stand up and look at him, becoming levelled with her teary, empty red eyes. the same eyes hyesoo once had, before they closed forever.

“No...no you don’t, dont talk to yourself like that”

“Don’t touch me...i’m a murderer”

“No you’re not chae...i’m sorry...i shouldn’t have forced you to come here….please chae don’t cry…..im so fucking sorry. I wasn’t thinking-” 

"If I left would that be better?" she whispered to herself and haechan squeezed his eyes shut, squeezing her body closer to his as he feared losing someone else that was close to him.

"don't say that....ever" haechan choked out with tears pricking his own eyes as she watched her empty ones gleam over at his face. she looked tired, drained and depressed, yet he only knew half of what was going on in her life.

"I want to go home...will you take me home? please?" She whispered, leaning into his body as she felt herself becoming light headed

"hey...hey stay with me okay?" he said, trying to shake her to open her eyes wider

"c-call...Leet-Leetuk op-oppa" she muttered out, shivering before letting her eyes close completely.