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MicahFox: Maria Carlito-Fox, the OG Fox. You are forever in my heart and I will never forget the times that we spent together. It has been four years since you tragically passed and I still missed you everday. Your love and your legacy lives within me and for as long as I live, nobody will forget your name. #MariaCarlito #Mami
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"If you saw me smoking at your grave, you would kill me." I chuckle to myself as I lift the cigarette back to my lips. I take a deep drag before releasing the smoke into the air I stroke my mother's coffin.
She deserved the very best of the best so I splashed out tens of millions of dollars on a mausoleum at some private grave site which is not accessible to the general public. While I planned her funeral, I decided to plan and pay for my own while I wrote out a will.
Once I die, I will be placed besides her in the same mausoleum. For the first time in forever, we will both be at peace at the exact same time and I pray on the day that it happens.
"Sometimes I wish I cremated you." I sigh as I trace the flowers engraved on her coffin. "I would have put your ashes in my necklace, ring and even injected you into my blood."
I start laughing to myself at the thought.
"I would have snorted your ashes so you would be with me for the rest of my life even if meant never shitting again." My laugh only grows as I imagine my mother shaking her head with laughter. "I miss you."
As I begin to imagine her sitting besides me, the tears begin to fall from my eyes because I know that we will never physically meet again.
"I want to die." I confess as I stub the cigarette out in the palm of my hand, barely feeling any pain. "You passing was the worst thing to ever happen to me because you were all that I had. I may have been this big hotshot in Hollywood but that has never meant anything. You were the only thing keeping me afloat."
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"I'm sorry for all the drugs and heavy drinking." I shake my head at myself. "My dumbass just had to overdose and I hate that you saw me in that state, never knowing if I would wake up. Your death is because of me..."
