It has been a day since the anniversary of my mother's death and although I am still cut up over it, I have a show tonight.
I considered cancelling the show but I know that my mother would have scolded me for it and it's as if she is with me now because I have this unexplained strength. Micah last year was ready to get locked up because he was so broken and hurt but this year, I'm stronger.
I cannot stop this sickness taking over
It takes control and drags me into nowhere
I need your help, I can't fight this forever
I know you're watching, I can feel you out thereThe audience start head banging as I reach the chorus.
Take me high and I'll sing
Oh, you make everything okay, okay, okay (okay, okay, okay)
We are one and the same
Oh, you take all of the pain away, away, away (away, away, away)
Save me if I become
My demonsTake me over the walls below
Fly forever, don't let me go
I need a savior to heal my pain
When I become my worst enemy
The enemyA smirk forms on my face as I reach the high notes effortlessly like I've been doing it my whole life.
Take me high and I'll sing
You make everything okayWe are one and the same
You take all of the pain awayTake me high and I'll sing
Oh, you make everything okay, okay, okay (okay, okay, okay)
We are one and the same
Oh, you take all of the pain away, away, away (away, away, away)
Save me if I become
My demonsI take my earpiece out as I go up a register while belting out the final chorus.
Take me high and I'll sing
Oh, you make everything (my demons) okay, okay, okay (okay, okay, okay, my demons)
We are one and the same
Oh, you take all of the pain (my demons) away, away, away (away, away, away, my demons)
Save me if I become
My demonsI take several sips of my water as I stare out at the sea of faces that are screaming my name.
"I just want to get real with you all for a moment." I squeeze the bottle before chucking it to the side, "Yesterday was my mother's death anniversary and I lost her to heart failure."
The women in the crowd let out a collective 'aww' at my words and I try not to break down like I have been doing these last couple of days. This is the only time of year when I bawl my eyes out and I'm honestly waiting on the day that the pain stops.
"She died not long after I overdosed and I blame myself for it." I smile sadly. "I truly believe that my overdose led to her heart giving up and it's something that haunts me every single day. The world views me as a psychotic asshole with no remorse but that's not true, I'm a human with a past. I have my traumas but nobody seems to remember that when they attempt to slander my name."