HEART ATTACK

scene twenty three: hair dye and worries

Chan paced around the room with worry laced through his veins. 

He looked over at Jeongin's limp body from behind the glass window and his heart dropped. 

He so badly wanted to be in there, holding Jeongin's hand and telling him everything was going to be okay, but he wasn't allowed to. 

Felix had to physically hold Chan back from running into the room at first because the doctor said that Jeongin needed rest.

Felix, too, seemed shaken. 

Afterall, he was the one who walked into Jeongin's room to find him in his usual navy pajamas sprawled out on the floor, pale and clammy. 

Jeongin's face still appeared pale, almost ghostly.

"Mr. Bang Chan?" The doctor asked, coming into the room that Chan was waiting in.

"That's me," Chan responded immediately, desperate for some news about his sickly boyfriend.

"Don't worry," the doctor reassured him. "He is doing well, but he needs his rest. His parents checked in with him earlier and he seems to be feeling better now, but still very weak. We believe the cause of his collapse to be due to large amounts of stress. 

"We've advised him to not get into excitable or stress-inducing situations from now until the surgery. If you want to say a quick hello to him, you may, but visiting hours are nearly over so please make it quick."

"Thank you, doctor," Chan nodded and went back to looking at Jeongin while the doctor left.

"See," Felix said, mustering a small smile. "He's okay."

"No, he's not," Chan replied, his voice hard and cold. "He collapsed because he's been taking on too much. I should've helped him and been there for him."

"Hyung, you can't blame yourself for this," Felix said. "You weren't aware that this could happen and you recently came out of an injury yourself. You aren't even completely healed yet."

"Except I did know, Felix," Chan groaned. "I knew that he was going through a lot, but I didn't pry because I thought it would only make the situation worse. Fuck, I should've pried. Then, maybe, he wouldn't have kept all of this stress in."

"But you aren't perfect!" Felix exclaimed. "Sure, you didn't pry, but it didn't mean that you didn't try to help him as much as you could! You were only trying to help him because you love him!"

Chan shook his head, still unable to believe Felix's words. 

Jeongin's collapse was so much to process and he couldn't think about anything but Jeongin.

"I'm going to go see him before I go," Chan mumbled and didn't even wait for Felix's response before leaving the room. 

He carefully opened the door of the operation room that Jeongin was lying in. His feet carried him over to Jeongin's weak and motionless body, his face ghastly pale and his cheeks sunken.

Chan took Jeongin's cold hand in his own and gently lifted it up so he could place a tender kiss on his drained knuckles.

"Chan?"

Chan gave Jeongin, whose eyes were merely slivers weighed down by fatigue, a small smile.

"Hi baby," Chan spoke softly, causing Jeongin's lips to quirk up into the smallest smile that he could manage. 

Chan carefully stroked the soft brown hairs away from Jeongin's forehead. 

"How are you feeling?"