Dare to love again .

10 . Don't let your past ruin your future.

Since I calmed my mind down and don't want to have any more fights with Zara I thought to have one conversation with Kabir about the recent subject. I think I can do it.

I knocked in the study room and went inside. Kabir reading some books with specs on his eyes. " Are you busy ? " I asked him , he looked up from his books and smiled.

" Not at all....come on in. " he said and I went in the room and sat across him in the room. He closed his book and asked " So , may I know the reason of this special entry ? "

" So now I need reason to meet with you..." I teased him a little. " Of course not...your my best friend..you don't need any reason to see me. " he said quickly.

" kabir we grew up together, and growing up you were the only friend I had....for few months we did have some conflicts...but now we are friends again and I hope what I will say...you will agree. " I told him and he nodded.

" I know you love zara....than why dont you express that to her? she cannot read your mind kabir...you have to express how you feel about her....open your heart to her. Why are you so reserved? " I asked while his eyes were on the books...aimlessly arranging them.

" I love her...and I really want to express how much I care for her its just...I feel bad for you sometimes. You did something horrible...but now that I think about it. I feel like at that moment for you it was right thing to do..." he said and the fact that he understood my pain is enough for me.

" Now that I love zara and sometimes I put myself in your position...well , I would have done more worst thing in your situation. You did nothing compared to that. " he said and took a pause . Zara is missing a wonderful speech.

" And now you cannot come home....I feel like...and I believe I hurted you more than I can image...and it feels bad to be happy knowing I made someone cry for days....and for what? love..my love ? Am I even worthy of those tears ? " he said and I think I understood the problem correctly. Well can be a good doctor in future.

" kabir....stop feeling guilty. My love was always one sided...it has nothing to do with you. You always treated me as  a friend..I took it in another way...how can you be responsible for it....stop blaming yourself. " I tried to comfort him or zara can't have a happy life.

" And as for why I am not going back....well I was their cause I wanted to marry you. Now thats not the case than I want to explore more about myself...I never had a good connection with my mothers family. Now its good time to connect with them. You're not the one for whom I am not going back. " I told him, cause now he is definitly not the one for whom I am not going back.

" Than what is it? " he asked. " I want to finish my studies....bhopal has best college for that. Bahu begum is kind of relative of me...so its like I am home. And my appi has spend all her life worrying for me,taking care of me.....now I want her to live her own life a little....you know go out with jiju and just fill her life with love. So dont blame yourself...your not responsible. " I told and his expression says he understood what I said.

" So what do you want me to do? " he asked in a whisper. Now thats the question I was looking for.

" Forget your guilt and go talk with her. Dont go so away from each other that third party enters between you two. Show her how much she means to you, show her you may have responsibilities but she will not be ignored for that by you, tell her she is your strength...you will see her glow like sun. Trust me. " I told him.

" Thank you....thank you for everything and I am sorry...sorry for unintentionally hurting you, sorry for showing the worst face of love to
you. "  he said and I know that he is not lying.

" Its okay...stop the blaming game. I have moved forward and I want you to move forward as well. Give zara the life she deserves....or trust me I will again show you what rukshar is capable of. " I told and he laughed. People are laughing at my warnings...my golden days are gone.

I talked with him for sometimes than walked out of the room. Hope now his condition will improve. I have finally closed my past door and now time to move forward.

" Noor....listen yaar....that was an accident. " Azaan kept shouting as noor walked past him in hurry and left him standig alone. Azaan sat on his knees covering his eyes with his hands.

I know I shouldn't talk between couples but anything for noor bhabi. I poured a glass of water and handed it to Azaan and sat down beside him.

" I  shouldn't be asking but....what happened? " I asked him. He dranked the whole glass of water in one glup and rested for sometimes.

" I know I proposed noor...I married her. And I cannot imagine my life without her...but sayara...I just can't put her out of my head. Noor is very understanding but I somehow make her realize she is my second choice. " he said all that in one breath.

" sayara is in your heart....and she will be a beautiful part of your story. Noor bhabi knows it and she has loved you all her life....trust me she can love you with it. It's just that you have to show her now that she is also a huge part of your life. " I told and he looked towards me.

" Loving someone from childhood and losing him is really painful...but she got her love back. Don't make her regret her decision. Don't let your past ruin your future . " I advised him.

" Why do you sound like you're talking from experience?  " asked Azaan. " Cause I am....now noor is angry and I am sure you know how to handle her. " I told him and he nodded and left with a smile.

I am loving my work...if I can help lovers who are lost I will feel blessed. Even I will not let my past ruin my future.