Scars || T. Oikawa Spin-off

26| Jealousy

   Suzume has been around for three weeks now. As each day passes, it seems like I see my dormmates less and less. At first, I'd tag along with them to wherever Suzume asked them to go, but after a while, I couldn't take it anymore. Just seeing her hurt me. Now it's not just Sato who's drifting away from me, but it's all of them. I can't believe I'm saying this, but I even miss Ayame's antics. It's gotten lonely at the bakery without them harassing me every hour. 

   I lay on the floor of the gym, setting a ball to myself. Practice doesn't start for another hour. I've been finding myself here a lot more recently. I set up the nets and got the ball carts out and ready. Balls are scattered all over the shiny wooden floors. Earlier, I was letting out my pent-up frustration by serving. 

   I watch as the ball flys into the air, almost disappearing due to the blinding lights on the high ceiling. Then it falls back down, and I push it up, over and over again. 

   A hand that isn't mine comes into my field of view, catching the ball. I turn my head in curiosity, finding a girl with long hot-pink hair up in two pigtails, her pink orbs gazing into my purple ones. 

   "Yo," Soma says, her other hand tucked away in the pocket of her grey sweats. 

   I press my lips together, "Hey," I respond, bringing my hands down. 

   We start passing the ball to each other without uttering a word. I wonder why she's here. Practice doesn't start for a while now, and I don't think I was making that much noise.  

   She sets the ball to me, dropping her hips and getting into a receiving position. I hit the ball back at her with a little too much force. It goes off the side of her arm, hitting the wall next to the coach's bench. 

   We both stare at it for a while, watching as it rolls off until Soma stands up straight, shoving her hands in her pockets. 

   "You've been acting stranger than usual. What's up?" she asks, looking me in the eyes. 

   Well, I'm a sad excuse for a human being and keep repeating the same mistake over and over. I'm getting jealous when I don't have a right to. I never told them how much they mean to me. And I feel like I'm drowning, but other than that, I'm completely normal.  

   I tug at the sleeves of my thick sweater, gazing out the gym window. The sky's covered with dark storm clouds. Little droplets of freezing rain hit the ground, forcing students to rush to their dorms and clubrooms. The colorful leaves, turning soggy.  

   "Nothing really," I sigh, looking back at wooden gym floors, pausing for a moment, "Hey, do you ever wish you were someone else?" I ask. 

   "Haha, are you being serious right now?" she laughs. I look her in the eyes with a straight face, "Oh, shit, you are," she says with a dumbfounded expression, letting out a tired sigh, "Of course I do. Everyone does. No ones 100% content with who they are. Why? Feeling inadequate?" she asks, a hand resting on her hip. 

   "You could say that," I respond, "More like jealous of someone, and I don't know how to deal with it." 

   Soma raises an eyebrow. She sighs, picking up a ball, slamming into against the floor repeatedly, "Well, jealousy is human nature," she says, eyes glued to the ball, "We do our best to ignore it, but that only makes it worse. Let yourself feel it and then talk to someone close to you about it," she states, catching the ball, tossing it to me. 

   I catch it with both hands, examining the colors. 

   "I wanna practice some hitting before the others get here," she says, walking over to the net, "And be sure to call me your senpai at practice. I wanna piss off Yonamine-senpai again today."