Ex-Childhood Crush

Abbey's POV

She was shook awake.
Bleary eyed she looked up opening an eye.
Zoey was a good distance away that she wouldn't attack him from being that close to her while she was vulnerable.

" What ". She asked her voice heavy with sleep.

" We're not in safe territory , do you have a scarf put it on we can't have you parading your hair on full desplay".

" I don't have a scarf ". She said sitting up rubbing her eyes.

" Here i brought one for my sister just for this case ".

She took the black scarf and put it atop her head.

-------

They drove in silence the whole way.
Nothing bad happened so she was thankful for that.

" Come on we need rest we'll stay here ".

" Are you crazy! ".

He looked at her seriously.

" Don't use that tone with me ".

She mumbled an apoligise.
Hating every second of it.
Nothing she did was wrong it was crazy to go on a deserted road and take a supposed rest .
Stating out the fact wasn't bad.

They got out the car.
Zoey smiling at her as if nothing happened.

He sat down and layed on the sand.
She looked at him incredously.

" Do you know how to drive". He asked her.

Her brain sharply came into focus.
These random questions always had a meaning behind them.
He had something going in that head of his.

Picking carefully for the answer she replied.

" I only know how to go straight ".

Throwing the keys at her she caught them .

" Okay look here Abbey i love you i really do , but my love doesn't go as far as putting my life down for you".

She was confused really but his aura went from blue to grey he's conflicted.

" Okay ". She tried.

" So I've been thinking about this since yesterday's incident , I'm not taking you all the way out the country untill here half way . Now you can carry on untill the port and go on the boat with the other escapeś and get out of here ".

She stood paralysed.
Why did everyone think she could take care of herslef .
They went halfway then saw the threat ahead and stopped.
Didn't he say i was his daughter.
Fathers don't abandon their daughters!

" I don't even know where the port is! ".

" The GPS will tell you ". He carelessly replied.

" Then when i get off the boat how am i supposed to get to London ".

" I'm sure you'll figure it out your a smart girl your strategies are good ".

" Stop saying that! ".

Not because her strategies usually worked meant people could start putting weight on her shoulders.
Her mother made her get out the house . Like Zoey only went halfway through to help her.

Now standing here the sun beating on her.
As if things couldn't get worse she thought back when they dug a tiny space in the wall at grandpa's .
She wasn't supposed to see that.
That place was for Emma she heard the whisper near by.
Her mother chose to protect Emma over her.
The sudden realization made her weak.
When mother took Emma away and turned on the Tv she hid her away ?
Why not her ? The one in danger.

Why did everyone assume she could take care of herself .
Biting her tongue she put an exprestionless face on.

" I see , well thank you for your generosity , Be sure to keep mother safe ".

She got in the car and very  carefully as her uncle taught her went away.
When she was a mile away she stopped the car.

Bowing her head let the tears trickle down not even bothering to wipe them.

Zoey smokes her mind said.
Quickly putting her words into actions .
Started looking through his things there like a beacon of hope the packet of cigarettes lay with a lighter next to them.

Hurriedly lighting it , she took a drag and let it out .
Since she sucked at smoking as she wasn't an addict it was always hard to light 'em up at first.
But after sucking on the toxic stick . Smoke started filling the car.
Opening the window a bit so she wouldn't suffocate.

There she enjoyed the toxins entering her blood stream.
Though she cared not.

She let out a satisfied sigh and before she knew it she finished the first ciggrate.

The hollowness was close though , she could feel the darkness closing in .

Looking through her duffel bags she got out the pocket knife.
Turned up her left sleeve and slashed on the side of her wrist.
A new scar to add , lining up the old ones.
She watched the blood pour up and flow out trickling down her arm.
Grinding her teeth as not to bite her lip to not have it swollen .
She added another one.
Two today.
About twelve the last time.
Tears welled up again , putting the pocket knife away so she wouldn't be tempted to make it a three.

She was no cut addict.
But the overwhelming feeling of wanting to cut would pass her at times.

She always prided herself on not being addicted to anything . That she had control .
So she wouldn't start now.

Tracing the blood around her wrist she wiped it off with wet wipes.

It started welling up again but as usual gave it no care and put her sleeve down.

It stung and the feeling of rawness was there.

Opening the sterio she looked for lana del rey songs . Young and beautiful.

I've seen the world on and off.

And there she went off singing her songs .

Abbey not wasting more time sped up and let the GPS tell her where to go.

At summer days rock and roll ....