Burn a little brighter (Zukka - Soulmate AU)

Chapter 1

Sokka hurries along the frozen tundra, snow crunching under his thick winter boots. He carries all that he needs tightly against his body, holding on to it for dear life because he can't afford to lose it. He'll be spending who knows how long at sea by joining the war effort, so he's brought pieces from home he can't go without.

The cutter ship that will take him and all the other men away towers over him like a fully grown leopard-bear. It's wooden and sturdy, with a resolve crafted in its build, and Sokka knows he could get some pointers from it. He's trembling just slightly in his boots, mostly with anticipation.

His dad turns to him as Sokka approaches the edge of the water. He finishes handing off a sack to Bato, walking a few steps to where Sokka is hurrying towards him. They meet in the middle.

"Sokka," his dad starts, tone affectionate, almost amused, but stern, and somehow Sokka knows exactly what he's going to say before he says it.

"I'm coming with you."

"You're not old enough to go to war, Sokka, you know that."

Sokka readjusts his bag, determination swelling in his stomach. "I'm strong, I'm brave. I can fight! Please, dad."

And somehow he knows that even though he's laid his heart out bare, it wasn't enough. His dad's gloved hand falls on his shoulder, giving it a slight squeeze as he looks down at him.

"Being a man is knowing where you're needed the most. And for you right now, that's here protecting your sister."

He doesn't understand. He's thirteen. He's ready and prepared, just like all the older men. He recognizes the gravity of the situation, has seen the results of the raids. Understands death in such a personal way that he'll forever be scarred by it. He knows he can do this. If not now, then he can learn on board training with the other men.

How is he supposed to learn here, alone? How is he supposed to help miles away?

He tries to communicate this to his father, but his words falter and betray him, and he knows it's a lost cause. He can only accept the goodbye hug his dad gives him, unmanly tears burning in his eyes and spilling down the sides of his face.

He watches them depart that day, stands on a pier of ice as their ships shrink into little dots on the horizon, and then until only the open ocean greets him. They never turn around. Why did he believe, so deeply down inside, that they would?

He holds his bag close to him, sinking down on the ground, and stays there. His tears dried hours ago. All that's left is a dad-shaped hole carving out his lungs and a cold seeping into his pants. He buries his head in his bag, ignoring how the rough fabric scrapes at his cheeks because moping feels better. He feels like he earned it.

The hand on his shoulder startles him so badly he almost throws his bag into the ocean. For a split second, he lifts his head expecting to see his dad, anticipating a confident smile ready to tell Sokka that they need him.

Instead, he meets his Gran Gran's worn face, wearing a look that says he needs to come back home. He doesn't protest, just takes one more glance at the blue waves and the sun glittering in the water before he turns around and starts the long trek back.

They arrive at their village, and before Gran Gran can say a word, he separates from her. Heading to their tent is second nature, and he pushes aside the sealskin to enclose himself inside, hoping no one follows him. The disappointment is so thick in his bones that he almost can't move.

So he doesn't. For a little bit longer, he curls up in himself and doesn't bother to stop his eyelids from pulling themselves down.