why.
why did I do it?
the same five words have been repeating in my head.
why. why. why?
"I just wanted to have fun with my friends?"
no that's not the reason.
there has to be more to it.
"maybe it's the only way to help me cope."
cope with what?
"well I guess my mom isn't around to often anymore.. and my dad is working his hardest to keep our family afloat."
woah.
I never looked at it that way.
I grab a pen and a scrunched piece of paper and write down my answer.
George had texted me back that he would be home in an hour.
my phone's at nine percent from last night.
I decided to continue reading since I had very little to do.
time passed by in a flash as the door creaked open and the male stepped in.
"hey."
was all I managed to squeak out.
"hey.."
the bed dipped in as he sat next to me.
"are you feeling any better?"
he lifted the back of his palm to my forehead.
I just wanted to hold it there forever.
"yeah, especially after that tea. thank you."
he gave me a weak smile.
I sighed and looked back to him.
"I think I'm ready"
he turned all his attention towards me.
"I'm all ears."
I lift my hand and clear my throat.
I scrunch up the paper, throwing it to the side.
"George. I'm sorry. I have no reason to excuse my actions. I was selfish and didn't consider your feelings nor anybody elses. I knew it didn't make you comfortable but I did it anyways. and behind your back as well. I didn't even have the guts to face you."
my eyes started to water.
"your voice the night you found me on the feild is what snapped me back into reality. this can't continue and I won't let it. I ruined your.. our one special night. I just want to thank you for keeping me safe last night and going out of your way to fetch me when you could be just left me to rot."
his eyes started to water as well.
"thank you for your honesty. I appreciate that you acknowledged your wrongs. and I do forgive you. we all make mistakes, and this was a very dangerous one that could've ended up in both of us being hurt."
I looked up at him with streams running down my freckled cheeks.
he lifted his hand up and gently wiped them away with his thumb.
in a need of desperation, I pull him in tight.
he smells of fresh cologne and a bit of that grocery store smell.
he runs his hand through my hair and down my back in an attempt to calm me down.
"please don't worry about it Clay. you didn't ruin anything. you just startled me a bit. just know.."
"everyday is special with you."
