Love Again | Baekhyun

14 | Far Away

Help me, Baek.

I love you.

Last night was a mistake.

Baekhyun's eyes flew open to early morning light slipping in through the blinds of his window, heart beating so fast that a sheen of sweat was covering his skin, like he had just run a marathon. He sat up on his bed, putting a hand to his chest as he heaved a breath.

Yet again, Cho Sarang barged her way into his subconscious, refusing to let him sleep in peace. She didn't let him do much things in peace these days.

One month. One whole month and still not a single word from her. Not a phone call, not even a text.

In the beginning, Baekhyun had been so sure she'd come talk to him. He was certain she was just caught up in the initial shock of things, but that she would eventually calm down enough to talk to him again. Doubt started creeping up on him when two weeks passed by in silence. Now? He had given up waiting.

It was hard to accept at first, how abruptly everything ended. That's why it had felt more like a lover's quarrel to him than a break up. But quarrels don't last a month. Clearly, he misread the situation.

Baekhyun checked his phone. It was barely 6 am and of course—he couldn't help noticing—no new notification from her. He could easily call or text her first, but Baekhyun had learned from experience that a relationship won't last if just one person wasn't willing to fight for it. He made it clear that he was waiting. If Sarang wasn't willing to do her part, then he refused to come begging at her door.

It hurt, though. It hurt so much.

She was everywhere. She was in the songs he recorded, in the street lights that blurred by each time he drove at night. She came to him in daydreams and flashbacks.

Too fast, he fell in love with her far too fast. Now he had to live the consequences of being reckless with his own heart.

Baekhyun's nights were spent tossing and turning, wondering where they went wrong, wishing things were different. He would only fall asleep at the break of dawn when his body was too tired to stay up. Then, an hour or two later, he'd wake up from a dream of her.

Baekhyun got up, running his hands through his hair in frustration. He had been working nonstop, he barely got any sleep, his body and his mind were both constantly exhausted. Everything pissed him off, everything.

Baekhyun angrily kicked his bedside table, sending some stuff flying haphazardly. Without paying any mind to the mess that was now on his floor, he went to take a scalding hot shower, taking the stress out by letting the water damn near burn his skin.

Funny how he could be loved by a sea of fans, by the whole world even, and still not matter quite enough to the person that mattered most.

Tomorrow, he had his SM Station live recording for one of the B-side tracks from his mini album. The team had pushed him to do 'Bungee', but Baekhyun already had another song he wanted to sing. One that was added last minute to the album.

That was tomorrow. In the meantime, he didn't have anything scheduled. No practice, no recording, no video shooting, no photoshoot. On any other day, he would've been elated to rest. But these days, the hectic schedules were the only thing keeping his mind from Sarang.

With nothing else to do, Baekhyun plugged his earphones in and listened to all the songs he was going to put out.

Leading up to a music release, he often listened to songs on loop. Judging his own voice, analyzing the production, making sure he loved everything. This time, it only seemed to make him relive memories as he lounged around miserably. Playing the piano, eating a very late breakfast, laying down on the couch. All like a zombie as he zoned out to each track, Sarang haunting him with each rhythm. Like a ghost.