The Allure of Darkness

9

Azia

I've been shaking since I got back. My head is pounding. It feels like the pressure in my head will explode.

But I want to sleep. I need sleep. I look up at the ceiling for anything.

It's too dark to see anything in the room but I picture it a plain blue color like the sky on a warm day. I love the sky.

The sky is always there but it comes in different shapes and colors. It spreads everywhere. No one can hide from the sky. Not even the darkness.

But the darkness is everywhere tonight. In every corner, everywhere. I'm just so tired. I'm so tired of everything.

I can feel myself drifting off to sleep. I can feel the darkness engulfing me. And I let it.

I open my eyes to see a white room with a woman standing in the center of it. She looks up at me. Her face changes from worry to relief.

I ran to her. I just need to touch her. Even if this is a dream I want this. I need her.

"Sweetheart, what are you doing here?"

"I miss you mom, so much." A tear rolls down my check. She isn't real. This isn't real.

"Azia honey you know you can't come here anymore." My mom says as she tightens her arms around me. I needed to feel her again.

"It's ju- just I can't handle this. My life mom I can't handle it. I have no control over it. I have no control of my life anymore.. I don't even want to be here anymore I want to be with y-." Tears start to fall down my face, slipping onto my mom's shirt.

"Mom please. I can't remember dads face. Or his voice. Or Faylns eyes. Mom are they blue or green?" How can I not remember my own sisters eye color? I'm a terrible person.

I look up at my mom.  She's not even real. This isn't real.

"You are the only one that can control you, Azia. Remember that and if you still can't handle it then remember all the things you still have to do. All the things you will miss out if you leave this world too soon. Remember the good m-."

"You were my good memories mom. And you're not here anymore. YOU'RE GONE. YOU LEFT ME. You're gone along with everyone else in our family but me. I'm the only one left. I'm all alone. It's a burden mom and it's like I can't breathe. I just want this to be over."

"You still have a long story ahead of you honey. Go live it."

My mom disappears. She just left. Left me alone, again.

Now it's only the white room and me. It feels like the room is staring at me. Like the room has eyes everywhere.

I have to wake up. I have to leave.

I close my hands. My nails press into my skin leaving crescent marks on my palms. Pain. Pain is good.

One second everything was white and now I'm surrounded by darkness.

I sit up fast, breathing hard.

My blanket falls to the ground. God it's freezing in here. I can't even see the ground. I can't see anything.

I look around the room looking for anything but theres nothing to see, just darkness. No light coming through the window. No candle lit.

It's like I'm trapped in a void. An endless void of darkness.

I lean back against the wall and shut my eyes.

A hand rushes onto my arm. My eyes fly open. I fling my foot out in front of me, hard.

"Azia, it's only me, Loki. It's okay." He backed away from me holding onto his arm that I just kicked.

Everything is not okay. I shouldn't be here. He shouldn't be here. I should still be in a cottage with my family. I should be happy. Not a slave to a foreign kingdom.

"I don't want you here Loki. I don't want you near me. I don't want to see you." It's true. I never want to see him or his brother again.

"I know, I know. I just wanted to say I'm sorry about my brother and there are things you need to kn-."

I cut him off. "Thanks for the apology. It was such a sincere apology. You can leave now Loki. Make sure you shut the door on the way out. People are trying to sleep here."

He looks at me. Why are you staring at me? I want to scream.

"You're shaking Azia."

My hands. They won't stop moving. Why. Why. Why does this have to happen now?

"This always happens. I'm okay and you can leave, your highness." I smile at him. Did he expect that no one will know who he is?

"What. How did you know?" He pauses for a second. "Never mind. But Azia, watch yourself. Not everyone is who you think they are." With that Loki left. Shutting the door quietly . What a gentleman.

Not everyone is who you think they are. What kind of riddle is that?

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