The Allure of Darkness

30

Azia

I reach my golden door and step inside. The first thing that hits me is how freezing it is. The second is how rundown it is.

I look around me room, not much is going on here. The window's red curtain is blowing at me. I stride across the wooden floor to the window and knot the two sides of the curtain and put it on the hook to keep it secure.

Why would they leave the window open when it is freezing outside is beyond me.

I shut the window with ease.

For this kingdom of being notorious for the luxury of it, this room is not living up to it.

It would make sense only the door is golden and so is the window because of how that's what everyone sees from the outside. The passing people from the villages, onlookers just trying to see a piece of the kingdom, these guest rooms are built for those who could just pass for semi importance. Me a nobody from a village is trying to get the princes hand in marriage is apparently only semi important.

I wonder where they keep the real guest, those whose lives matter to this kingdom.

I mean I am here for a ball that is thrown for the prince to find a bride, shouldn't I be getting better treatment as someone who might win the prince's heart.

Maybe I can get a better room and get away from Loki and Emrys.

I turn to scope out the rest of this room. There is a wooden single bed with a nightstand next to it. A lamp is lying on it. Great. A lamp is my only light source here.

There is a tiny bathroom on the other side of the room along with a small kitchen. The kitchen only contains a sink, a small fridge, and an even smaller oven.

There is a small wardrobe that I can tell won't fit the clothes in my luggage.

It's so suffocating in here with no light. The only light is coming from outside which doesn't even reach all the way into my room.

It's all I think about. Darkness. It's everywhere really.

When you close your eyes. When you look too closely at something. In a person there is darkness.

I'm darkness. I'm the shadows. Literally. Ironic how I can not even figure out how to use the darkness that covers this world.

Loki would never teach me anything useful. He would never give me a chance of escaping or using it against him.

Someone in this kingdom must be able to help me. Must have the shadows and darkness on their side also. Loki and I can't be the only ones who have shadows at their fingertips.

I look at my hands. Looking for any indication of the shadows that prowl beneath them. I really don't know how to use my powers.

I have all this power and I don't even know how to access it.

"The shadows or darkness comes from deep inside you. It can come from any emotion like anger."

That is the only useful thing Loki told me. 

And Anger, I am filled with it.

My family's deaths. Revenge. Branded. My kingdom.

My anger is fuel from that.

I can't even make the shadows move let alone use them to travel. I can only remember what Loki said about it. 

"I have to imagine my body breaking apart and envision where I want to go and how to get my body there in one piece."

I look down at my hands again.

My family's deaths. Revenge. Branded. My kingdom.

Shadows. Darkness. It's everywhere, even in me.

I close my eyes and picture back to everything that has gone wrong in my short life. All the spots in my life where something went wrong is where I felt the most anger. And sadness.

My timeline is filled with these terrible things.

I haven't known peace since I was a little girl. I've not felt safe since I was a little girl. My life ended when my family died. My problems started when I lived through the murder of my family.

Cree was the only part of my life that has connected me back to the term family. Cree who I left.

I left my sister behind. I left Cree behind. I leave everyone behind.

I can feel the tears falling down my face. But all I can think of is my sister crying, dying in my arms, her lifeless limp body when I left her in the meadow.

I failed my family. I failed myself.

The darkness shifts in my room. Even the darkness darkens.

The darkness is physical. I reach out my hand to touch it. To touch anything.

I feel every shadow in this room in my mind. I can identify all of the different spots where the shadows are hidden in the cracks of the wood. Where the shadows end and light take over.

I feel like I'm finally connected to the darkness.

Is this why Loki feels this way? The ability to feel the abyss of darkness around him.

I feel like I need to be consumed by it. To learn why some shadows are darker than others.

I place my palm facing up and I just reach out to the shadows. I called them. They call back.

A shadow forms on my palm. Transforming into a flower then into different swirls that go up my arm.

It's magnificent. It's magic. It's unending. It's who I am.

A thud comes from outside my window.

All the shadows die out from swirling around me.

I run to open my window and look outside. To my surprise there are people crowding the roads. All with colorful dresses and masks on.

I've heard about this before. The days leading up to the balls in this kingdom they have different parties each night.

Of course just right when I started to learn my magic I got interrupted.

I need to find someone who can help me with my magic. Someone must be able to help me.

I look back out the window at all the people dancing and walking with masks.

It's perfect for me. A mask. No identity.
I can be whoever I want. I can go wherever I want. I can find answers. 

I take one last look out the window and start making my plan.