The Allure of Darkness

17

Azia

When I was little, I would always dream of running through a meadow with my sister. It was such a constant dream I thought it would happen in real life. It did happen though, the night my family got murdered.

What always confused me about that night was how I was able to carry my dead sister's body in my arms while I ran across the meadow.

I remember dropping her when I got to the edge of the meadow, how tired I was. How I could hear the killers coming to finish me off. I had to make a decision, it was the worst decision I had to make.

Keep my sister's lifeless body in my arms and try to outrun the monsters or leave her in the meadow alone and run.

I left her. I left my 8 year old sister's body in a meadow.

I should've died that night. Fayln and I were playing hide and seek. I was hiding, she was counting. I should've been counting but I beat her in rock,paper, scissors shoot. How that game decided our fates.

She would still be alive if I just let her hide first. But that's not how it went.

Fay started to count all the way to sixty seconds. We could only hide in the small cottage we called home.

I ran to the kitchen and hid under the floorboard, Fay never knew about the floorboard area that you could get into. I wish I never knew about it.

My mom watched me go into the floorboard and I looked at her and brought my hand to my mouth and 'shh' her.

When Fay came out of her room, five men barged in our house. My mum was cooking at the stove, making soup. My father was already sitting at the dining table. My innocent sister was looking for me.

They held guns to their heads and backed them into the corner of the kitchen.

I had to watch my family get beaten from under the floorboard. I was helpless.

"Where is she!" One man yelled at my mom.

My mom didn't even flinch when he brought the butt of his gun to her face. She let them hit her.

"I don't know." She said as a tear rolled down her face. My mom was never a good actor but when they sliced my fathers neck, she wasn't fazed. But I could see her fists tighten.

Her husband was murder beside her and she couldn't do anything about it.

My fathers body fell to the ground and Fay jumped, or tried to jump away. One of the men grabbed her and sliced her arm horizontal. It was a slice to kill.

Fay screamed. That scream will never leave my mind. It plays on repeat every time I think about the meadow.

Still my mother didn't move when her own daughter was dying.

All five men surrounded my mom and she spat on them. They tried to tortured her but she never broke.

"If we weren't supposed to kill you, I'm pretty sure the king would want you." One man said to her as he held the flat side of a knife to her cheek.

My mom made eye contact with me, moments before she died. Her eyes held fear, love, but that didn't help me as her throat was slit. As I saw blood rushing out of her body. As I could hear her trying to get a breath as I could hear her trying to place something over her neck.

My sister was still alive, barely, when our mom died.

"They must have hid her somewhere. We have to get her before the others." The man who sliced her neck said. That's the last thing I heard before they went into my room. My room with all my memories.

I took my chance. I took a risk.

I pushed the floorboards up quickly and silently and ran to my mom. She was barely breathing. Her eyes twitched to me and she said, "I'm sorry honey but you have to stay strong, okay, for me." And with her last breath she smile. I cried silently for my family.

I moved to my father. He was already gone but now he is reunited with mom. I kissed his cheek and closed his eyes. He looked at peace.

I heard the five men moving things around in my room.

I moved over to my sister. Her body was still breathing, barely. She was trying to say something, something I will never know.

I picked her up and pulled her into my tiny arms. And I ran. I ran for the door. I ran for freedom. I ran for my sister.

I opened my cottage door and ran for the only place I could think of, the meadow. The meadow my dreams are made of.

Her body was going up and down as I ran. But her chest wasn't moving. She wasn't moving in my arms as I ran. I ran with her body in my arms for what felt like miles.

I could hear the five men coming into the meadow, coming after me.

I made a decision. A decision that broke my heart.

I left my sister in the meadow, the same meadow I dreamed off. I laid her down in the grass and I prayed for her. I prayed for myself.

And then I ran. Not looking back. I never went back to that cottage, that meadow.

I'm dreaming of the meadow again. But this time I'm  running by myself with no Fayln by my side. And I blame myself. I blame myself for my family's death.

The five men were looking for someone and it had to be me and I don't know why. Why were they willing to kill my family because of it? Why were they willing to chase me into a meadow? Why didn't just let them kill me.

I still don't know why they killed my family to this day and that sole reason will haunt me.

It's haunting me now as I lay in a bed, chained. As I lay in a foreign kingdom ruled by a king that's a monster.

There's a window about my bed. It's small but it lets the moons light shine through. It's the only source of light.

This room I'm trapped in is small, there's only a bed, a window and a door. It's a small room.

I will be celebrating another birthday alone, cold, scared, trapped. I've always been trapped by my own mind but now I'm trapped in a room.

I can't turn to my side or the chains on my wrist will pull. I lay in bed, not moving.

I'm locked in a room and I'm left with my mind to keep me company. I hope they kill me soon.

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