Perfect Pain

#11

~:Chapter 11

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I felt bad for refusing to say anything about myself. Especially in the most undignified way ever. As time went by I prayed their attention would draw out of it.

We were done with our food. And to an answer to my hearts prayer the table became lively. Amusement consumed everyone and their laughter proved it all.

The topic was an embarrassing moment of Drew, being the kind that chose the worst pick up line to approach a lady at the cinemas. They taunted him.

I wish I could contribute to their laughter, but my shame did not permit me. My childish action few seconds ago still affected me and that stopped me.

Aside the guilt, I was further distracted turning to Alex. He wasn't doing anything. Knowing that he must have been present at the time Drew had made such funny actions and still choosing not to laugh at it was.......

Rare?

My thoughts slowly drift to the first time I saw him, back then he still chose not to contribute or react to what they had to say. He hasn't changed since then and so did my feelings.

I felt a heavy load in my chest just looking at his deliberate ignorance, his wooden face and his choice to not relate. I imaged how he would look in a smile,

Or In happiness, or even in a pout and compared it with how he looks now. There were two different people.

Images of Alex in my head? Why? I know this is guilt, I'm feeling sad? for Alex? someone that doesn't know me? A person that I feel like he rejects me without even talking to him.

Why did I imagine Alex in situation I should wish for myself? I couldn't see myself in happiness...how could I think he'd look good in that situation?

Was I just staring at him? Or was I looking deeper?

>•<•>•<•>•<•>

The night was as cold as always. The sun had already  faded into the moon, and the stars were confident to laminate the horizon.

Everyone stood under the beaming of the moon light, under the bright lights of the arcade, and few people strolling out.

It was getting uncomfortable and yet no one had stepped into the car. A girl, and Drew, who didn't seem like the sixth wheel anymore stood calmly before everyone.

"I wish Ashley could come with us, but there isn't any room in my car." Lex said with sympathy which did not look rare to me.

I didn't expect less from him as he was the least to be rude in a situation like this. Everyone knew, with his looks and his way of talking, that Lex was kind, easy and soft. A friendly charm.

"I'm crazy sorry for this. I promise this would be the last time this happens." Begged Drew who's name I just knew. All my time of exchanging short glares with him It never crossed me to speak to him.

I saw Alex sigh at Drew's words, knowing he was now giving consideration to him proposal for his Girlfriend to ride with us.

"Alex. You....don't mind if someone rides with...do you?" I could tell Alex was scared, or maybe, nervous that Alex might walk out on him, or even give the worst answer as he looked like the person that wanted no part in this conversation.

Why he still stayed instead of leaving like I thought he would, I didn't know.

My heart was almost at melting stage when I see Alex take a short look at the Gucci wrist watch that stood in his hairy wrist. He held disgust, his expression could only tell you to forget about it, but to my surprise, he agreed.

He sighed in acceptance. "Okay whoever's coming with." He stepped into his car and that was when I finally step out of my Fantasy and of the words of my heart, and let my brain process what would happen.

Who would ride with Alex?

I did not want to ride with Alex. He scared me and made my heart pound. I didn't want Alex asking me anything about how I refused to say anything about myself when I was asked.

Which I knew still played in his head.

I wish I wasn't the one all eyes were laid on. I didn't want to disappoint, but riding with Alex was out of my brain and intention.......

But was it really an intention?

~•
Well...who do you think would ride with Alex?  Please let me know your thoughts.
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