Perfect Pain

#12

~:Chapter 12
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Circumstances have brought me into Alex's car. A rare and luxurious convertible flying across the road accompanied by a roaring engine. Alex, ghost-silent.

His car didn't have a back seat. It was covered with a logo materialized with gold orbs. He probably never imagined ridding anyone more than himself I propose.

I try to drift away from the tensed situation of sharing a car with Alex. The slow and steady creeping up feelings of....affection?

However, the song that played from his brightly lit stereo helped in sensitive ways. Not like I had a choice anyway, it's rhythm was beautiful.

In an intention to flow into the song I stared at his stereo, but only him I thought of. I kept staring at his stereo, and fell....in love?

Before any other weird thoughts could rise up my mind again the song had already switched to something different. I hadn't realized he started the song over again until it came to the very chorus I started off listening to.

I felt the urge to ask but what would I say? "Why did you start it again?" Or "you shouldn't have" No "Why do you affect me?" Capital No!

"Ciara." Hell let loose in my body, aside the electric waves, the tickling on my cheeks and the sudden weakness in my torso, wonder, surprise and fear gripped me.

It was the first time he's ever called my name, that is, if he really did call my name. Maybe I was just hallucinating because I've been thinking about him too much.

"Trashing the chance to give yourself some respect was childish." Did I forget to mention his voice was nothing like I've heard before?

There's something different with the way he spoke now, majestic bass drum growling into my ears. He stared at the road like he owned the city, and his tone made the guilt that the song had carried away flush back.

I stared at him, and he stared at the road. The air conditioning and sent of his car all hugged me in solence.

I was silent.

"Why did you do that?" Of all the people at the table I didn't know I would have to answer to Alex. Was there some meager feeling, yes. But it Was all too imaginary to become reality.

But Still! I wanted to pure out everything and tell him exactly what the heck was wrong with me, why I acted so childish and why it's so hard, so very hard to find a place for happiness.

I feel this way only because Alex was the only one sensitive to ask. Nothing else. They're allot of them out there who would do the same and still abandon you. I so I don't have to jump into name calling.

"They're things about me that you would better off not knowing." I said as calm and bewildered as I could be. Actually not minding that I might tell my story to Alex, but still, he's not ready to listen.

He laughed. More like mockery in his laugh, with his eyes still focused on the road to their destination, It had occurred to me that he didn't know my house.

Overlooking that and wondering why he laughed.

"Well, whatever your story is Ciara, lies and running away is the mostly not dignified."

"And if I asked? Why..." I shuttered. "Why you never seem to be a part of your friends and family? Why you're so cold-"

"Cold isn't the word." He cut me off like I triggered something that might have resulted to anger. But I saw him sigh adverting one arm from the wheel to rub his brows with his fingers.

I flushed into a blush but I had to hold it and hoped for an answer. He sighed again, without response.

"What is it then?" I rattled.

"It's forgotten." Immediately he spoke. "Anderson, you wouldn't want to know anything about me either. You see-" I resided my shoulders to speak but he cuts me off, "-If you did," I listened, knowing he was going the wrong way with his actions but still chose to let him.

The sudden stop of the car and his gaze had nudged me into another world. "-you'll just have to carry my problems with you. And you don't want that."

I tried to process anything my current state laid for me but those eyes were closer than they were across the table, and beyond the hall, and across the lunch table.

They were flattering, beautiful and almost pretty but thank God for his masculine nose and broad shoulders that served as an attachment. I was flushed and trembling at my feet.

I struggled to bring sanity back to my senses but all my heart continued to do was pound, pounding because I didn't know what he was going to do.

I found it difficult to breath. I felt like I was under Alex's arm. Just feeling his whole Cologne bleed into my nose. Heated up cheeks of mine struggle to remain stable.

What should I do? Cars are being inpatient, the traffic light had already turn green and few others didn't posses such patience as those that honked for us.

"Alex?" I called and felt my breath bounce back to me. Why didn't I just eat fruit like he did. I felt his breath, and all I could perceive was minty freshness. His eyes came to mine and I gulped. "Um...the cars....the lights." I felt embarrassed. For me, and for Alex.

He looked like he could eat me, and I looked like I could need another psychologist immediately. We were both looking like silly five year olds that didn't know what a kids was and almost went into it. And it only made some part of me warm, whats thats? Love?

I'm....in love?