I don't know how long I can do this, living is becoming so hard, I am so detached from myself I can't eat and even if I do it feels so unnecessary I just wish I could disappear without causing anyone any pain
I'm supposed to go in two days for an interview for university and I just feel and know I'm going to Fuck it up so why try why even lose more energy by stressing and preparing for it I don't see the point in doing so but I also don't know if I can have a normal everyday job that I have to go to survive
I JUST WANT TO DIE
SO FUCKING BADLLY
WHY I HAVE TO CARE
IF I DIDN'T I WOULD BE ALREADY LONG GONE
i just want to die i just want to die i just want to die i just want to die i just want to die i just want to die i just want to die i just want to die i just want to die i just want to die i just want to die i just want to die i just want to die i just want to die i just want to die i just want to die i just want to die
*****
Okay wow it's crazy that it was 9/10 months ago why I didn't upload it probably because I thought I did.
Update on this is that I went to the interview but on the way there I went into a wrong train, was late and the whole ordeal was really stressful.
I did get in and I'm in 2 semester of my studies but I still feel the same
I'm tired,
eating is a wired thing I have to do I do though try to have a healthy eating patterns,
I still want to die and additionally
I feel miserable cause I am in city I know very little about and I'm basically alone.
Life is not getting any better
