I am convinced that I'm slowly losing my ability to feel. When I'm alone and don't have to pretend or have any stimulants I just exist and everything that I do feel is kind of muted as I know it is there but I can't quite feel it or it's just a glimpse of a feeling you can feel it coming but when you realise it's there it's gone. I don't know what's next after that. I use to chose not to feel but now I don't even know how to feel again.
