Silent and lonely world (Dark clouds before sunny weather - Book 1)

Chapter 2

Note: This chapter contains fairly explicit description of physical and sexual child abuse and or rape, I have put a warning at the beginning and at the end of it, feel free to skip this part if you should be triggered by these topics. Psychological child abuse and neglect are mentioned in the rest of the chapter, no explicit description though.

Mo Xuanyu was standing in the corner of the kitchen in his aunt's and uncle's house, his hands carefully hidden behind his back, clenching them until it was painful, trying to make himself as small as possible. When he had come from school, he had immediately prepared dinner for his family and hoped that it would be to their liking, he did not want to imagine what would happen if it he somehow displeased them.

He was looking at the floor, hyper aware of everything what was happening in the room. His aunt, uncle and cousin were enjoying the dinner and chatting loudly about their day. The food was tempting his empty stomach but he knew better then to expect to have anything for dinner. He was only allowed to eat breakfast at home, and even that only when he was a good boy, dinner was never in question. Not even when he was left home alone or on weekends when he would not get to eat lunch at school.

Usually, he would have had a lot harder time to stay completely still, out of his family's compass, but today was different. He could not believe that he actually got invited to a birthday party. He knew the boy, A-Yuan, he had tried to already talk with him multiple times, but Mo Xuanyu had always been too afraid of what would his family do to him if they knew he had talked to anyone but the teachers at school. They had made that very clear the first time he started attending school.

In the moment of weakness, overcome by his endless happiness, he agreed to go to the party. He had heard much about those from other classmates, they must have all been so well-behaved children at home to have such fun sounding and lavish parties thrown for them. He had never had one, he did not even dare to dream about it, he was too much of a bad boy to even entertain the idea that his family would reward him for anything instead of just punishing him.

He really should tell A-Yuan that he was not allowed to go after all. Even though his family was going on a one week long vacation starting tomorrow morning, he was terrified of them finding out once they would return. No, he really better stay low and behave while they would be gone, it was always better this way. But he could not deny, not to himself at least, that he actually wanted to attend the party, very much so.

He was so deep in thoughts that he had noticed that his stomach growled loudly only after his uncle had already stood up from the table and grabbed his upper arm painfully, dragging him to the table.

*** Explicit child abuse warning start ***

Mo Xuanyu knew that his arm would definitely bruise later but this was the least of his worries right now. He barely heard his aunt shouting at him that he was a failure and a bad boy, that he should have already learned how to behave when they were having dinner and to not disturb their peaceful family time, now she had lost her appetite and the food would need to be thrown away.

He had already heard all of this so many times that he could retell it word from word from memory, including the part where all of the family's misfortunes were his fault. He did not really bother to listen to her ranting. The more pressing issue was his uncle shoving him down onto one of the chairs head first. Now his stomach was on the seat of the chair, his torso and legs dangling on each side of it.

His uncle finally let go of his hand and took two steps away. Mo Xuanyu knew that it was not to allow him to stand up but to go take a cane which was being kept on a kitchen cupboard exactly for this purpose. He closed his eyes, bracing himself for the already known pain.

When the cane came down onto his exposed bottom, he bit down a scream. He knew he had to be completely silent unless he wanted to anger his aunt and uncle even more. He did not have to hear his aunt's poisonous whisper to know that he was being punished for being a bad boy.

*** Explicit child abuse warning end ***

Once he had taken his punishment, fighting against the tears that were threatening to come out of his eyes, his uncle let him go. Mo Xuanyu got up with some difficulty and bowed to his uncle, aunt and cousin in turn before going to stand back in his corner so they would be able to finish their dinner in peace. Even with his head lowered, he could not overlook the sneer his cousin had on his lips and he shuddered, he knew there was another punishment awaiting him later tonight.

He only dared to move from his corner after the whole family had left to watch the evening news. He started taking away the dishes, making sure to not cause any more noise, he had had enough for one evening, he did not need his uncle punishing him again. He washed the dishes as quickly as he could and put them in their place. The rest of the food was thrown into the garbage bin. He had long learned that he should not attempt to eat it, even in secret, his family would know.

After finishing his chores and making the kitchen spotless, he headed to his cousin's room. He knocked on the door and entered without waiting for an invitation. Since the evening news had already finished, he knew his cousin was inside, waiting for him to complete his punishment for the day. He closed his eyes, preparing for the inevitable.

*** Sexual child abuse/rape start ***

Just like all the previous times, his cousin was already waiting for him, sitting at his desk and impatiently tapping his fingers on the polished wood.

"You are late!" he hissed dangerously as if Mo Xuanyu had not been terrified already. "Strip and go lay on the bed."

With trembling hands but well learned movements, Mo Xuanyu slid out of his clothes as quickly as he could, he did not want to make his cousin wait any longer. He would get angry and it would be even more awful. Mo XUanyu crawled onto the bed and stayed on all four, his already aching and surely red and swollen bottom held high in the air.

He grabbed a pillow and tugged it to his face, he would need something to hold onto to get through this. And probably also something to bite down on if things started to get too much for him. He could not let anyone hear him screaming. Silent tears were alright but that was as much relieve as he was allowed.

His cousin was now taking his time, enjoying how Mo Xuanyu was getting more and more terrified and how his body was trembling despite his best efforts. Finally, Mo Xuanyu felt the bed move under his knees and he knew his cousin had positioned himself between his spread tights. He clutched the pillow harder.

He was startled when suddenly, there was a slap on his bottom. He almost cried out, almost. Oh, so this was one of these nights then. The beating continued for nearly as long as the previous one delivered by his uncle's hand and Mo Xuanyu was gasping for breath, his vision was starting to fade. In his ears, he could hear his cousin's angry whispering: "Did I not tell you a hundred of times that you are not to interrupt when I speak with my parents? You are such a bad boy..."

Then, without any warning whatsoever and without having any time to actually brace himself, his cousin entered him and started pounding mercilessly while panting heavily into his ear. It felt disgusting. And it hurt like hell. Mo Xuanyu's vision soon became too blurry because of his tears and he was praying to fall unconscious, at least then, he would only feel the pain a little later and perhaps already a bit faded.

*** Sexual child abuse/rape end ***

Aching all over and staggering dangerously, Mo Xuanyu finally made it back to his room. He let the clothes fall onto the ground and without even cleaning himself, he laid down on the worn out mattress. He would just make himself presentable in the morning, he did not have any energy right now.

He curled into a tight ball and started sobbing silently. He hated this, no matter how much he tried to behave well, it was never good enough. He was always a bad boy. And bad boys did not deserve to have their classmates come talk to them so they would not feel so terribly alone. Bad boys did not deserve to be invited to a birthday party, much less attend it.