Silent and lonely world (Dark clouds before sunny weather - Book 1)

Chapter 17

Note: This chapter contain description/flashback of past sexual and physical child abuse and a brief description of a panic attack, please be warned and proceed at your own discretion

Mo Xuanyu opened his eyes abruptly when he felt the bed he was laying in drop as if someone had gotten inside together with him. He did not remember how he had gotten in himself but that hardly mattered, what was more important was that he only ever was taken to a bed when his cousin or his cousin's friends decided to punish him.

And since he was clearly not in his cousin's room, it must have been that his cousin had taken him somewhere else. He had only done that a couple of times but Mo Xuanyu would never forget those. It felt bad enough to have only his cousin touching him in that way, and having more people doing those things to him was a hundred times worse. He did not like it and he could already feel himself tensing up, his breathing disrupted so it was hard to get enough oxygen into his lungs.

He wondered if they would use their toys as they called it to punish him today. Sometimes, it hurt even more than to have them touch him themselves. But he could never protest, he knew it would make his cousin even more mad at him and everything would get ever worse.

He could feel something slick in his backside and between his tights, and the fact that he was still in the bed could mean only one thing, they were not finished with him yet. If they were, he would have been tossed down onto the ground and would have been able to scrawl into some dark corner. Since he was not at home, he could not retreat into his shack where he would be able to cry to his heart's content.

He hated it, this was the worst. He wondered just how many friends did his cousin bring this time. He had not been too careful while sitting up and he could feel pain shooting up his spine. But it was not as bad as he was used to. It was almost as if he had not been punished just now but already some time back. He was confused. Even more so that he was alone in the room, that had never happened before. His cousin or his friends usually did not let him rest until they were finished with him.

Suddenly, there was a loud crying and Mo Xuanyu startled. It seemed he was not alone in the room after all. He started panicking even more now. He knew it would do him no good and that his cousin and his friends were certainly not about to let him off the bat just because he started crying but he could not help it. He gasped for air, suddenly not sure how he was supposed to continue breathing when his chest felt like it was being crushed in an iron claw.

He drew his knees to his chest in a futile attempt to protect himself for at least a moment from the whole world. He looked around frantically, trying to see from where that sound was coming, it seemed like a child was crying and he could do nothing but to wonder if the small boy he could now see sitting on the ground was in the same predicament as he was. If yes, he pitied the child greatly.

He was about to reach down and try to sooth the boy, he could not be any older than six or seven and he looked so small. If they were doing the same things to him, Mo Xuanyu could not help himself but to shudder. He knew just how painful the punishment was and he would not wish anyone to go through it if he could somehow help. If it would mean his cousin and his friends would only punish him, he would gladly put himself in front of the child to spare him as much pain as he could.

Suddenly, the door to the room flew open and a man in all white stormed inside. Mo Xuanyu only stayed frozen in the spot, staring at him. The man was an adult, why was he here? His cousin's friends were always teenagers, just like his cousin himself. He had never brought him to any adult; but there was a first time for everything he supposed. The man looked strong, Mo Xuanyu wondered how much it would hurt to be hit and manhandled by him.

He knew he was supposed to stay in bed until he would be permitted to get out but he could not just watch. He did not mind that his punishment would be all the worse if he disobeyed, he just wanted to protect the small boy. And if attracting the man's ire onto himself would do the trick, then be it.

He quickly threw himself on the ground, pushing the still crying child behind himself. He wanted to be brave for the boy but he was trembling like a leaf and he could not stop, he was terrified of the consequences of his act. Perhaps he had just angered the man and both him and the child would be punished for being bad boys? The child was not supposed to be crying this loudly.

He stayed on the ground, shielding the child and waited for kicks or hits to come raining down on him, or someone crushing his arm in his hold and hoisting him back up onto the bed.

For the longest time, nothing happened. And then, everything did at the same time. The child stood up and run to the adult, throwing himself into the waiting arms. At the same time, another adult came running into the room.

It was a bit hard but through his tears, Mo Xuanyu realized that it was in reality his favourite teacher who came in. His head started spinning even faster as he was trying to make sense of everything. He noticed another person standing between the door, it was A-Yuan. Finally, things started coming back to him.

He must have still been at his teacher's house. Stupid, stupid him! His teacher had told him he would be staying there with his family until his aunt and uncle came back from their holiday. He should not be surprised that the whole family was here, after all, he had heard A-Yuan talking about having a little brother. He calmed down slightly and he found it suddenly easier to take in a deeper breath. At least now he knew where he was, the question was why.

Why had he been in a bed? He was not yet told where he should be sleeping but he had expected it to be the same as in his house, he should be put in a garden shack or appointed a spot somewhere on the ground, where he would not get in a way. So why a bed? Or could it be that he had already done something, although he could not remember what but it was of no importance right now, to warrant a punishment? The same one his cousin used? Should he have stayed in the bed? Had he already done something against the rules of the house?

He watched with wide eyes the family in front of him and waited for something, anything, to start. The silence and the stares were confusing and scaring him to his core. At his aunt's and uncle's house, he at least knew what he should and should not do, where his place was and what was expected of him. Here however, he was in a new territory and he had not yet been told anything. He was left in the dark and it was making him uneasy.