Silent and lonely world (Dark clouds before sunny weather - Book 1)

Chapter 13

Wei Wuxian saw how Mo Xuanyu was getting more and more nervous and it was breaking his heart. He knew how the boy felt and he would not wish this on anyone.

He scrunched down beside Wen Qing and tried to calm him down by asking him to sit on the couch, he was afraid that the boy would faint again with how pale he was and how his whole body was shivering. Mo Xuanyu obeyed but he did not look any calmer.

Once again, Wei Wuxian would have liked to hug him, sooth him, pamper him, to care for him like no one other. He was however scared of doing so and being rejected, it was one of his worst nightmares still. His adoptive mother always used to tell him that if anyone ever learned about anything she did to him behind the closed door of his room, everyone would turn away from him and he would end up all alone.

He was wondering whether the boy had ever been told something similar. He hoped that not, it unfortunately stuck for years and years. Lan Zhan had to remind him, often enough for him to actually feel embarrassed, that those words had not been true.

He shook his head slightly to concentrate on the present again and looked at the boy with a gentle smile he used for his children to reassure them: "Mo Xuanyu, it is fine, we do not want to hurt you. We want to help you, if you let us. We first need to treat your injuries, you were bleeding before, we just want to make sure you are fine now. That is what Wen Qing came here to do. She is an excellent doctor; you may have already met her at the school's infirmary."

Mo Xuanyu's only reaction was a slight shaking of his head and a whisper: "I am fine."

It was Wen Qing who took hold of the conversation next: "Can you please show me where you had been bleeding previously? I still want to check how badly you have been injured."

Nothing happened, the boy remained completely stiff, not moving a muscle. Wei Wuxian was now worried if he was even breathing at this point. He knew they were going too fast and the boy had had no way to come to trust them, but they really needed to understand if he was still bleeding or not.

"Mo Xuanyu?" he prompted as gently as he could.

Despite his best efforts, the boy shuddered, badly, and then he slowly pointed to his backside.

At once, Wei Wuxian's worry climbed sky high. He could not help but dread the association his mind supplied. Even if he himself had not been abused sexually, he had read enough articles and studied on the topic to know what the most common consequences of an assault were. So perhaps the boy had not only been abused physically, as would his bruised arms suggest, but also sexually? He wanted to cry.

He could not help himself anymore and reached out for the boy. He took him into a hug and started rocking his gently back and forth while caressing his back soothingly, just as he always did when A-Yuan or A-Yi had a nightmare. But this had been no nightmare for Mo Xuanyu, it had been his reality, and perhaps also for a long time.

Wei Wuxian could not hold himself back anymore and he started crying, not minding who could see him. It was just too sad, too horrible, too pitiful that a boy so young that he only started to understand the world had already gone through something like this.

"Mo Xuanyu," he whispered, his voice a bit broken, "this should have never happened to you. Your family has no right to hurt you like this. None at all. You are such a sweet child, precious and irreplaceable. We want to help you. We will never let you go back to that dirty shack in the garden. We will protect you, no one will ever be able to hurt you again.

I know you probably do not believe me right now, but I will repeat this as long as it takes for you to believe my words. You should live happily, and not in fear or pain. Mo Xuanyu, let us help you..."

At first, the boy seemed completely frozen in shock but it did not even take him a minute to relax a bit and another two or three to start crying silently. Wei Wuxian would not have been able to tell be it not for his robes, just where the boy's face was, getting wet. He could not tell if the boy believed his words or not, still, he had meant every single one of them.

It took a long while before the boy's tears run out and his shoulders stopped shaking. Only then did Wei Wuxian eased up a little on the hug and looked at Mo Xuanyu's face. It was stained with tears and snot, yet his eyes were closed. The boy must have either fallen asleep or unconscious again.

Wei Wuxian was still cradling his little and too thin body in his arms as if he was holding a priceless treasure. And of course he was, the boy was so similar yet so different to him in his youth that he could not find it in himself to ever want to let go. He wanted to offer him a sanctuary, a safe place he could start feeling comfortable in and gentle arms in which he could hide whenever he was scared. He wanted to protect him, just like he had promised, from ever experiencing anything painful in his life.

He did not know how long he had been staring at Mo Xuanyu's face until he was disturbed by urgent whispering: "...Wuxian! There are still children in the garden and any of them can come here any moment. We should move somewhere more private."

Wen Qing was looking at him intently, a soothing hand on his knee. Of course she was right, they should not scare even the other children. And Mo Xuanyu still needed a medical cheek-up. They should also do that elsewhere, especially considering the placement of his injury.

It was Lan Zhan who whispered in response: "A-Yuan's room."

Wei Wuxian nodded eagerly and then got up carefully in order to not wake the boy up. Perhaps it would be better to have Mo Xuanyu treated while he was still unconscious so they would not cause him any more trauma.

As gently as he could, he carried the small body up the stairs and into his son's room. He was sure that A-Yuan would not mind too much. And even if he did, they could just explain that his friend was not feeling well at the moment. A-Yuan was a kind child; he would agree to share a room with A-Yi for the time being. They should give Mo Xuanyu as much space as he needed so he could start recovering.

Lan Zhan opened the door for him and Wei Wuxian laid the boy on the bed, careful to not jostle him too much. Once he was there, his body even smaller than A-Yuan's in the big bed, Wen Qing took no time to push him and Lan Zhan out of the room and close the door in their faces, she apparently wanted privacy for the examination. Wei Wuxian prayed that Mo Xuanyu would not wake up in the process.