Life in the middle-Harry Styles Fanfic AU COMPLETED

Chapter 18

He is back into his clean clothes and at my front door. I can't help the awkwardness between us, he's been romantic and playful and I'm just stunned.
He tells me he's going home because although he's sister knew he was out, he wants to make sure she's alright.
This should be music to my ears. A man that cares what his family thinks and a willingness to support them. He should be a perfect partner for me, but I fill my head with doubt.

He must notice how quiet I am and he pulls me towards him, our hips together but just enough distance for him to take in my face.
"What's the matter, love?" He asks in that thick accent. I know he is staring trying to get eye contact with him but I just can't.
"Nothing" I answer and pull his hands away from me. He gives me a look that says "I'm not buying that" but he doesn't fight me.

He leans over and gentle kisses my forehead before kissing my lips, slightly pulling my lip in.
He opens the door and I grab Jinx who is trying to run out after him.
I lock the door behind us and look at Jinx, rubbing his head, he meows up at me, he probably is telling me how rude I was but I can't help that.

The rest of the weekend I fill with painting the Oceans. I let my thoughts go to a place where me and Harry were covered in paint and I think, "I came on to him, didn't I?" I can't help feeling annoyed with myself.
What does he think of me now? I begin to feel the start of an anxiety attack so I stop what I'm doing and go wash my hands.

I've ignored all the calls that I heard in the studio and now that I check my mobile phone on the kitchen bench, I see multiple missed calls, all from Harry but one. My Mother.
Nope I'm not dealing with her now.
I turn off my mobile and go to bed.

Monday I'm busy with appointments. My day is filled with discussion about what I've been doing, how am I feeling, what are my goals for this week? etc..
This becomes a repeat as I have 3 appointments with my 3 professional support people.

By the time I get home I run myself a hot shower and blush when I think of Harry and I in the shower.
He made me feel incredible and he didn't push his own needs on to me.
"His a rare one" I think to myself as I turn off the water, "is that why have you ignored him today? my two sides fight.
I finish drying myself and out a nightie on.
It's too late for lunch but too early for dinner. So I grab a bunch of grapes and sit on the couch with the remote and my phone.
Mother has tried calling me but that's normal after I ignore her. I flick the TV on and watch an episode of Seinfeld, I need a laugh or two tonight.
I scroll down my call list and see Harry has also called and left a few text messages.
ECHO I HOPE YOU ARE OK, IM NOT SURE WHY YOU ARENT PICKING UP BUT PLEASE JUST GIVE ME A CALL- what will I talk about? "Hi Harry, thanks for the other night, want to repeat that again?" I scoff at myself.
Another message- I HOPE YOU HAVENT REGRETTED YESTERDAY? PLEASE CALL ME OR AT LEST TEXT ME BACK X HARRY- ok ok I can at least send him a text.
IM FINE, JUST BEEN REALLY BUSY, MAYBE ILL SEE YOU AT GROUP SESS WENS?? OR NOT??- oh my god, why did I send that? I don't want him to think he may have a chance with my in a relationship? I can't have a relationship right now, even with Harry being perfect and all.
He texts back-SEE YOU WEDNESDAY OR EARLIER??- um no, no, no Fuck Group session is were I air my crap, not create more shit. Maybe I can drive to another group for Wednesday?

Am I ready to see him again so quick? He seems to want both, to see me on Wednesday or earlier...maybe I'll just skip Wednesday altogether. I allow myself to come up with dozens of scenarios as to avoid him.
But he is perfect, my conscious says, and I tell her to Fuck off before I fall asleep.