Life in the middle-Harry Styles Fanfic AU COMPLETED

Chapter 27

He sits on the bed and pats an area near him for me to sit down. I'm hesitant that I won't be able to clearly articulate what I need to. I have a problem speaking mainly because of the confusion and foggy brain due to medication wearing off in the morning.
But he would know this because of his experience with Gemma. She seemed so happy I could envy her but I don't because that's not me. I'm happy for anyone who can ride roller-coaster that is mental illness and gets off it happier.
I realise I'm still standing there but Harry is patient, he doesn't interrupted my train of thought. I finally sit next to him but I don't face him, I face the print of a tropical island I painted when I was unwell and I wanted to escape.

"I don't know where to start Harry, there's so much swirling around my mind right now, I just want to shut down" I sigh still looking at the print, unlike Harry who's eyes are on me.

"That's the depression speaking Echo, not you, you know that better then anyone" he responded and continues "I remember Gemma telling me the same thing, she couldn't cope with the cloud hanging over her, until she got help but I know it's not just a pill that's made her better, it's a combination medications and support," He pauses.
"Yeah I know but I can't seem to get a grip right now" I pick at my nails to distract myself I find I need to be moving when I'm anxious.
"You and I, I mean us" I gesture with my hands between us "its good, I mean, I think I want you as much as you want me and I know it's fast and a little scary but I enjoy being around you" I finish, this time I'm looking straight into his eyes, which go from hurt to surprised and I don't blame him.

"What? I mean are you hearing yourself? Echo you aren't acting like that at all. Not since yesterday's meeting. What's changed?" He asks gently putting his hand on my thigh. His touch burns, but it's a relief to feel him near me again.

I don't know how to explain what happen last night, it's going to sound insane!
Ok here goes nothing I think to myself.
I put my hand over his on my thigh and he sighs quietly.
"Some times someone with a certain type of mental illness might get fixated on someone or things and they become can become paranoid and delusional about that fixation. That said if adding alcohol or drug problem, things will inflate those thoughts and make it worse" I pause as I can feel him tense up.
"Echo, if you have an alcohol or drug problem, you could get help. I mean I don't like recreational drug use and especially when someone is medicating themselves, I think their fucking stupid personally"
I'm a little taken back by that point as my older brother does just that and I wouldn't want Harry to judge him without know all of my brothers background. I wouldn't judge Gemma.

"It's not me Harry, I don't use drugs, I mean I tried pot when I was young but I don't like to feel out of control. I do enjoy the occasional drink but I'm not an alcoholic either" he relaxes a little.
"Yesterday at the meeting when we were done, Michael approached me in the kitchen. He has drug induced psychosis and possible is schizophrenic." Not that that matters in the scheme of things. I really don't know how to explain what occurred, I think I'm in shock by it and scared, I made a decision to palm Harry off mostly because I was scared.
I really hope he understands my actions a little better when I tell him Michael threatened me and Harry last night.

I move and sit completely facing Harry and he turns towards me also.
"What did he say Echo?" Harry questions me.
"He has a sort of fixation on me, he asks me out the week you didn't come to the meetings. I said no but he said he wouldn't take no for an answer. I think because he saw us coming in together, he got mad because I said no to him. Well he cornered me and was saying some inappropriate stuff about us, telling me I was a whore and if he saw us together again he would hurt both of us."
I don't want to tell him what Michael said word for word because I just want to forget it all.
"What does he mean he'll hurt us? He called you that?" Harry looks furious, and gets up from the bed and starts pacing the floor. He runs his hand over his hair, and balls his fists up. I don't know what to do or what else to say, I think if I said more, he would react badly.
"Who the fuck does he think he is? Why didn't you tell me then? I would have beaten the shit of that fucking idiot. Why didn't you tell Pete?" He questions as he continues to pace but the he stops dead in his tracks, and moves up to me, reaching out to cup my face with his hands. His beautiful and tender hands.
"He didn't hurt you did he?" I can't tell him Michael pinned me against the wall and sexually assaulted me. I was terrified, for myself and mostly for Harry because he doesn't deserve this and that's why I sent him away.
But while he is here with his tender touch, that is all I want, him and his intimate touch.
I shake my head at him. He comes in closer to my face.
"You will not push me away because he has made you afraid. You can only push me away if you really don't want me. I'll be here for as long as you want me, do you understand Echo?" He questions me.

I nod and push my face closer to his. I don't want him to stay away and I don't to push him away but I'm still scared of what Michael may do. I don't want to think about it or talk about it anymore. I'm exhausted emotionally.
He leans in and kisses my lips slowly and softly. His tongue traces my bottom lip before he takes it with his mouth and sucks on it. It's like he is showing restraint but it's clear he doesn't have much and neither do I. He drives me insane, the more I have him, the more I want.
He swipes his mouth on my earlobe and sucks at my neckline. I can tell he is struggling to slow it down.
I put my hands on his shoulders and gently push him away from me, just enough so I can look into his eyes.
"Harry, I really need a coffee" I smile at him and he returns the favour, showing me those gorgeous dimples.
He stands up and takes my hand and I stand up while he leads the way to the kitchen.
Is it strange that he is starting to know his way around my apartment?
I can't help but smile when I remember where we've made love while Harry pours me a cup of coffee. But that is quickly replaced with the anxiety I feel over the Michael saga. Harry must've realised I was thinking about it as he brings to talk about it again.
"Please tell me you won't allow him to come between us? I mean he can't hurt me Echo, I can hold my own and as for you, he won't lay a finger on babe!" He exclaims and I'm blushing at his use of the word 'babe' I love it. It eases the anxiety slightly and I sit up on the counter, a habit I have but haven't broken.
"So do you think I should mention it to Pete? I mean I've been attending for six months, I thought maybe I could change suburbs but I don't know it I could handle that" he moves towards me and stands in between my legs, his hips and mine are aligned, sending tingles up my spine.
"Yeah I definitely think you should, I'll come with you or call him with you, if anyone should leave it should be him, he obviously isn't there to help himself" Harry scoffs.
"Ok, we'll call Pete later, I'm so tired I could go back to sleep, you look exhausted" I point out to him. He flips his hair of his face and looks at me with a lopsided smile full of mischief.
"Let go to bed then?" He drawls sexually. I tap him playfully on the arm.
"To sleep" he continues.
"Let's go then" I grab his hand and led him to the spare room, he hesitates but follows eventually, he looks like he something to say something but changed his mind.
I move the pages of pictures off the bed and he removes his shoes and clothes only leaving him boxers on. He climbs into the bed and pulls me close to him spooning me. Harry kisses my head and starts to play with my hair until I'm asleep.