Secret Admirers //one direction//

Chapter 23

I reach the terrace and fall down on my knees, crying uncontrollably. Did I just get lucky enough from getting raped? I want to die again.

I start walking around, forcing the dark thoughts out of my mind. Just as I turn a corner I bump into someone, crashing on the ground.

"You must be mad, but hurting yourself never really works" Someone speaks and helps me up. I look up to find Niall.

"What do you mean?"

"Crying is just another way of fighting with your own demons and it never really helps", Niall gives me a tight smile.

We sit on the stairs near the entrance of the terrace. None of us speaks for a while and then I decide to break the silence.

"I give up", I say in a soft tone.

"Really?"

"I have lost all hopes Niall. If life is fair Tracey will surely know the truth someday." I pause. "I'm really tired. I need some peace now." I say.

"Even after coming so far, all you want to do is give up and lose all your hopes?" Niall asks.

I know that I sound like a complete looser but what else can I do?

So I nod.

"Okay then!" Niall gets up and walks down the stairs. He's surely upset with me. Should I stop him? Should I tell him about the terrible thing that has happened? I don't know. I stay silent.

All I can do is run away from everything. I feel too weak. I hold my face in my hands and start sobbing. I desperately need someone right now. I wish Harry was here. Just then, my phone vibrates in my hand. I hope it's Harry. I tap on the message. Blackmailer...

Stupid- where have you been brave girl? is everything alright?

Me- Thank you for texting but I'm not brave, blackmailer. I'm so sorry but I can't do this anymore. You can get me arrested if you want. Jail is much better than getting assualted.

Stupid- wait! who assualted you?

Me- Some stranger like you. I don't know who he is, but all of you are the same. You are blackmailing me and trying to get me arrested and he was trying to have sex with me AGAINST MY WILL!

Stupid- shut up! look, i'm not as harmful as you think. but he surely is. so better inform the police!

Me- look who's saying

Stupid- yes i'm serious! this is not a joke, okay?

Me- Idk blackmailer! Nobody knows about this. How that incident has affected me... I feel like killing myself! I'm trying to hold on to my dear life.

Stupid- wait are you crying? pls stop crying. look idk how much i'll be able to help you but if you are scared to inform the police then atleast you should go and talk to someone who is close to you, with whom you can share everything without hesitating.

Me- How did you know that I'm crying, blackmailer? Anyway, I think nobody will listen to me. My friend just left me alone on the stairs just because I told him that I am giving up. I have so much to deal with at the same time. I'm in a budding relationship to work on. I don't even know how hard it's going to get after everything that has happened today. I have never felt so helpless!

Stupid- after all these days of talking to you i can surely say that you are strong enough to survive every hurdle! but that girl is lost. where is that girl who was brave enough to survive a blackmailer's threat? where is that girl who was patient enough to listen to me, talk to me and do whatever i ordered her? where is that girl who has survived through all her panic attacks and was silly enough to keep changing a blackmailer's contact name?