Secret Admirers //one direction//

Chapter 39

"Why are you being so nervous. I know that you are in love. You've mentioned it before. So is this the right time to tell the name?" I ask Niall.

"Yeah.." He sighs. "I love Tracey", he says.

After few seconds, I speak. "Okay...I think I can connect the dots now. That's why you saved Tracey from Liam, being the blackmailer and guiding me. But why did you play with me? Entering my life as a blackmailer, I was just a bait for you, to achieve your goal, right? Whereas you could've said to me everything as Niall!"

"You wouldn't have believed me, Perry. You didn't even believe the blackmailer initially, did you?" Niall tries to explian.

"I can't understand-" I say, almost crying.

"Perry, listen to me... Okay I'm sorry, please calm down!" Niall takes my cold hands in his warm ones.

"Why?" I say as a teardrop escapes my eyes. He brushes it off my face, with the tip of his thumb finger.

"I didn't say anything to Tracey directly because she wouldn't have believed me in the first place. She didn't even believe you. You, being her bestie, so close to her but still it was so difficult to convince her. Moreover she would've had a bad impression towards me if she somehow knew that I like her. Because then she would've thought that I'm speaking against her boyfriend just because I like her and want her in my life. So the only way left was to make her believe, through you." Niall pauses.

"So why didn't you directly tell me by yourself?" I ask.

"Because we weren't good friends back then and you would've easily believed Tracey, and not me."

"So you decided to blackmail me, wow!"

"You could've easily turned deaf ears to me, but if a stranger blackmails you, turning deaf ears doesn't work, right?"

"Of course lol. But I'll still say that whatever you did to me was wrong. I started having anxiety issues, panic attacks because of those messages. You threatened me about getting arrested! Ironically again, you were the one to take me to the infirmary when I fainted and also support me whenever I needed help. Seriously Niall?" I speak.

"I know that everything happened because of me, you were getting sick...so I just tried to help as much as I could. I knew that I couldn't change my plan because I didn't have any other way. I knew, I was causing a lot of trouble in your life so I thought at least I could be a good friend and help you, support you, being Niall...I wanted you to trust me, trust Niall..." He says, looking away. I can see tears in his eyes as well.

"Everything sounds weird. I even trusted the blackmailer at a time. To be honest, you were never that bad..." I say, resting one of my hand on his shoulder.

"I was", he says, his voice cracked, "I scared you and said lots of crazy stuffs which I shouldn't have"

"You also said lots of stuffs which boosted up my confidence. There was a time, Niall when I only trusted the blackmailer over all my friends", I say with a deeper voice.

I sniff, trying not to cry, unable to control the emotional tension created between us. That's when I feel him breaking down. "I'm so sorry Perry-" Niall's speaks, rubbing his eyes but the tears won't stop I guess.

"Please don't cry.." I stand in front of him holding his hands, the cold wind making me shiver internally.

"You're crying too", he sniffs.

"I- I don't know...I guess I'm just not ready to lose the blackmailer, my well wisher...and I'm also not able to accept that fact that you are him and he is you. I don't know if this makes sense, it's too confusing but I just feel that both the sides of you are just two different persons, I, I-"