Secret Admirers //one direction//

Chapter 17

Suddenly my life has changed for no good! Reading mystery novels or watching thriller movies is very enjoyable untill the same turns into reality! Life is tragic. Your most favourite thriller novel can turn into your worst nightmare!

I fold my arms and keep walking beside Harry. He has probably saved me from having another panic attack in the car. It's so strange that he understands sooner. Maybe he is somewhat experienced...

"Have you ever had this feeling that you don't want to be here anymore?" I ask Harry out of the blue and he stares at me with blank expression so I carry on.

"Like nothing makes sense, you are just forced to be here and survive, being forced to live your life according to the society or your parents, when you don't even know what that means when you don't even want to be surviving. Everything seems pointless and unbearable. It's like you're..."

"... drowning and cannot breathe." He finishes for me.

"Yeah" I breath out.

How did he know? This can only mean one thing. Somehow he feels the same. Only a person who feels the same way can know how this all feels. It suprises me a little but the more I think about it, the more it makes sense. It's obvious he feels this way. It's not like I could read his mind but when I first met him I knew something would be off him and then he had confessed himself that wanted to end his life once.

He was just broken. I felt the need to put his pieces back together again even if it would mean I would fall apart myself. And that is when the realisation struck. I'm developing feelings for him. Slowly, but deeply. I already knew I'm drawn to him like two magnet being pulled together on the right sides, but I seperated my feelings from it. I kept them under the lid and storaged them, keeping them safe from the reality. Now I can't pretend anymore. The feelings are there.

"I had no idea you're feeling like this." Harry pulls me out of my thoughts.

"I had no idea that we share this state of mind." I bring up a sad smile. "It's just a fraction of what I'm feeling. I'm sure it's the same for you" I glance at him.

"You're right. It's the broken fracture of my mind that I thought I'd never share with anyone. Especially not with a girl like like you. You're always so cheery and positive!" He states.

"Thats because of you. And because I'm good at hiding things." I admit.

"Well don't hide, Perry, you're am amazing person with a brilliant mind. You're the only one I'd want to share everything with. It's complicated but I feel like you'd understand. I hope you feel the same." He offers me his hand and I take it. The moment I touch him, electricity goes through me and I feel a nice warmth on my skin. Same as when we kissed before.

"Have you noticed this thing between us?" He asks, unwillingly letting go of my hand. I'm not even going to pretend that I haven't noticed the spark.

"Yeah I know it's there. You're like the rays of the sun and I'm the flower. You shine on me and I bloom." Thats reallys how I feel when I'm with him. Since the day I met him actually, even when he wasn't present.

"Doesn't flowers need water for that?" He stops in his tracks and I stop too turning to face him.

"That's what the rain is for. Look! I think it's going to rain again! The rain has been a strange connection all the time. Don't you think so?", I look up at the sky and then at him. He nods. "Let's not run away today..." I say.

"Alright. Let's not!" He agrees and continues, "There are these dark voices in my mind leading me to darkness. But you know what else is there? It's you're voice telling me not to trust the dark thoughts. It's easier with you inside my head." He confesses and it makes me feel butterfies in my stomach!