Brighter | I. Stradlin

8

DANI'S POV

"So, what's with you and Axl?" Charlie began with Lauren. All of us gathered around her on the couch, making her squirm and smile like crazy. "Nothing, just um friends is all."

Lauren never lied, much at least. By the smile, she was being modest. She knew well that he wasn't the type to settle down, or to stay with one girl for long. She always had a thing for strawberry blondes though. I used to have this friend, a dealer, and Lauren was absolutely head over heels. Eventually he got bored and I got sober, we separated ways and haven't spoke since. It hurt her a lot, she had deeply fallen for the guy.

"Bull crap! I have never seen him smile so much, bitch ass Axl has almost completely disappeared," Megan exclaimed. That was true. From hanging out with Axl, he seemed to be happy as can be. Izzy seemed absolutely dumbfounded at the change of his childhood friend.

Lauren sighed and played with the edges of the pillow she hugged. "What about Izzy, Danielle?" She mumbled. Megan and Charlie began to bicker excitedly. "We haven't really...labeled it yet," I shrugged, scratching the back of my head. Izzy and I had known each other for a little over five months. We hung out, partied, and sometimes we would find conversations in a coffee shop. Yet he still hadn't taken me on a real date, nor had he asked me out. We were obviously more than friends, maybe just hook ups but I couldn't help to wonder what he wanted. Did he want to be just friends? Did he ever think of me the way I thought about him? If I'm being honest, it drove me mad. I was never insecure around him, but I wanted to look my best. No matter what I wore though, he seemed to be in awe.

"Izzy doesn't like labels," Megan stated mockingly. Charlie rolled her eyes and smiled lightly. "He's on cloud nine," she mumbled. Her hazel eyes seemed to reflect a bit of sadness. Duff left her in a small mess. It had been almost three weeks, almost a month, since they parted. She loves him a lot by the way she speaks so highly of him, which she'll never let him hear. Duff, on the other hand, seemed to having fun. Drinking and partying without her to worry about. If he sobered up, I know he'd think differently but that wasn't gonna be the case anytime soon. "And cloud nine is slowly moving up, he doesn't even party that much anymore," Megan scoffed. "No offense! It's just...Izzy."

I never can see Iz as the party type but I had seen his room, and he was an avid user of coke. "Yeah none taken," I mumbled. Silence filled the room. "What about Slash? You think he has a girl yet?" I asked. Megan spat her water a small bit, and Lauren laughed loudly. I glanced over to Charlie who shared the same confused look as I did. "Slash doesn't really uh...know commitment," Lauren giggled. "Every time we go out, he finds a different lady. I don't understand it," Meggie continued. So each guy had some maturing to do...oh well, who doesn't?

"Oh, you play?" Charlie asked me, pointing over to my guitar. Izzy had spent forever tuning and playing it last week, the morning after our run in with Sharise. He played, and asked me to sing. I did my best, sure I sounded horrible, but he found another part of me to awe over. "A little, but I think has up it up more than I have ever in the last year," I laughed. Megan picked it up, "Play something for us?"

I sighed, taking it from her hands. I made sure it was tuned correctly and shifted to a comfortable position. The first thing that came to mind was Michelle by the Beatles. I started as slowly as needed. Lauren seemed shocked that I could still play. Megan and Charlie nodded, impressed and shocked as well. "Izzy and Dani..." Megan sounded off. "Soulmates!" Charlie yelled, making everyone jump. We erupted in laughter, leading us into a stomachache giggle fest.

Although we were happy as could be, I still felt a gut feeling. Some bad, guilty feeling I couldn't shake.

* * *

IZZY'S POV

I knocked on her door. No answer.

Lauren and Charlie were back at the apartment, and told me Danielle just wasn't feeling well. I decided instead of pouting around, I would surprise her with her favorite Chinese takeout.

I knocked again, a bit louder. "For God fucking sakes," I heard her yell angrily. She opened the door, her anger soon turning into a soft fake smile. "Jeff," she sighed. She only called me that whenever she was high, not sure why but she did. By the look she gave me, she felt guilty over something. When I left myself in, there was no guy and no sign of a hookup. There was a bit of white powder on the counter, and a big bottle of Jack Daniels. When I turned to her, she looked as if she was about to cry. "Dani," I cooed, rushing to her assistance. She put her arms in front of her, and walked back. "I- I love you, but I can't...I don't know. It feels so bad," She began to sputter. She walked across the living room floor, back and forth. I had seen Duff in his anxiety filled freak out sessions enough times to know the same was happening here.

"Danielle," I tried to step towards her again, all she did was add more space between us. "H-he loved me," she hiccuped. I waited for her to finish her sentence. Curiosity got the best of me. "He loved me so much, he left! In the worst way possible," she yelled, throwing her hands up and throwing them back down as she hit the floor on her knees. She sat in front of the bookshelf, with a bunch of scrapbook looking journals. "I can't love you without thinking it's gonna end up..." she began to bawl her eyes out, cradling her legs and hugging them to her chest. I gave her a second but she wasn't calming down. I sat next to her, slowly enveloping her in my arms. She easily slid into my lap, leaning against my chest. My eyes began to burn, my chest fluttered.

She loves me? And this guy, he...

Then it hit me. The skatepark, she didn't skate and she later told she didn't know how. The drugs, she stopped for a better life with her family but she didn't sober up until she came to LA. Lauren was her family, but there had been someone else obviously. There was a jersey in the back of her closet, a baggy hoodie hanging on her bed frame. Danielle didn't get broken up with, she lost someone.

The thought only made my heart ache for her more.

She went back to old habit to get closer to me, how much you wanna bet. If she sobered up for him, she relapsed for me.

"It's gonna be alright, lovey."

She cried harder, grabbing my shirt tighter. I kissed her forehead and rocked her until she calmed down. When she finally caught her breath, she looked up at me. "I meant it," she mumbled.

"I know...I love you too."

She nodded, leaning back onto my chest and wrapping her arms around my neck. "Let's get you to bed before we both fall asleep on the floor," I giggled softly. She hummed a small laugh too, letting me get up to help her stand. She smelled of nicotine and weed. It made me feel so guilty.

Charlie warned me. Megan warned me...I should have listened.

"You comin' rockstar?" She asked tiredly, turning to me from the hall. I smiled faintly, slowly making my way up to her.

I'm gonna sober up. I'm gonna get better, and I'm gonna take care of her. She deserves it.