"Also the purpose of life isn't death, it's paying taxes...you're a living profit for the government."
He broke into quiet laughter. "You're so random."
I shrugged and folded in my arms. "It helps keep me distracted though," I murmured. He leaned o...
I woke up around 7, and instantly felt the urge to go running. I didn't really go running though, I walked to the playground I grew up with. It was remodeled now, but I could still imagine the old play set. Two swing sets, one loopy slide and two small normal slides. No monkey bars, just a pole to slide down. It was always really boring, and bland.
The sunrise was pretty, pinkish and orangey tones covered the sky. I wouldn't have thought I'd miss the cold of Illinois, but I do. It was a good familiarity, something I could reminisce with good memories. Eric really loved the snow, something I really hated. The snow always made things miserably wet and painfully freezing. He always argued the fun weighed that out but...agree to disagree, you know?
I sat there, on a swing, and looked around. I would've loved to have Izzy around for Christmas. I really wanted to go back and see him, but I was afraid of breaking. As sober as I was, I was vulnerable. Any scene of drugs could bring me back to rockbottom. But his letter...what if I just send one back for now?
IZZY'S POV
"You're kicking him out? His birthday is in a few days, man. That's just shitty!" I yelled. Axl groaned and tilted his head back. Slash and Duff sat there, awkwardly and uncomfortably. "He needs to get his shit together," Axl stated strictly, almost like a damn parent. "We all do!"
"Then get it together, Izzy! I can't tell you what to do!" He whined. He crossed his arms, looked at me with a small grimace. "Isn't that why Danielle left anyway?" He added. I hadn't been furious, not until he said that. I heard that sentence and every rational thought turned into heated, angry sentences. "Fuck you, man."
"Am I wrong?" He asked. His tone was sassy and bold, which only made me more angry.
I didn't say a word. I shook my head, picked up my crap, and walked right out of there. There was no way I was gonna let him bully the guys who have always dealt with his bullshit.
DANI'S POV
"What do I even write to him?"
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My mom sat at the edge of my bed, handing me his old envelope so I had an address to send to. She gave me a sympathetic smile, then a small shy laugh. "You could apologize, tell him how you're doing."
I sighed, picking up a pen and the notebook in my lap. "Sounds easier said then done, Ma."
"No, not really. You're just scared what he'll think and say, Sweet Pea," she said, almost spontaneously. I wasn't expecting that response from my mom. Although I don't know what I was expecting her to say. "Your dad, he left to New York for a while. He sent me letters and packages of stuff. I never knew what to say 'cause well...I didn't want him to stop loving me."
That hurt. Didn't know Mom had gone through those motions while he was on his "business" trips.
"I don't either," I mumbled. "Just send him what you can, then. It's not any easier but you'll have sent something."
IZZY'S POV
"Izzy! Get out here, it's raining!"
Megan and Lauren stood outside my front door, bundled up and waving through a window. I couldn't help but laugh at the sight.
"Afternoon, ladies," I smiled as they walked through the door in a frenzy. "She wrote back!" Megan exclaimed, slightly jumping in excitement. I didn't say anything, but Lauren knew well enough that I was just shocked. She smiled widely, holding out the letter. "You don't have to read it out loud, we all go individual ones," she said as I opened it. "Sit down, Iz," Megan softly added. I looked up at her, now that she was up on my couch. I didn't question her though. I sat in a chair in the living room. Both, Lauren and Megan, sat in front of me. They looked like kids in a candy shop, anticipating a candy bar of some sort.
I slowly opened the envelope, seeing a familiar handwriting already. My heart raced, felt like it was gonna pop out of my chest. Curious questions raced through my mind, so fast there was no time to acknowledge each individual one.
Jeffery? No more Izzy?
...I always liked Jeffery more anyway.
First off, I don't know how else to apologize then to say sorry. That doesn't seem like enough of an apology, especially through a letter. I really needed to get better, and I needed that change. I won't apologize for that, but I left you with nothing. I argued with you over nothing, I left you with no absolute reason. I'm sorry.
Moving away from sad stuff, I am better. 2 to 3 months sober. I miss feeling so grounded, and thinking so much more clear. It's a good change, one I don't want to let go of.
I miss you, though. A lot. I got the photo of us, and knew I let you go when I shouldn't have. I know enough to know I love you. But Jeff, I can't come back. Not yet, at least. I really don't need to surround myself with all...of it, you know?
I hate to be that person but...I want you to get better. I also hate to be that girlfriend but...I'm not coming back until you can promise me you'll get better.
I'm sorry, Jeffery.
With all my love, Danielle Nicholes
"Izzy?"
I looked up at the girls, who looked concerned. "I should've said her letters were a bit...harsh," Lauren said. Megan sighed, "I'm sure she has a good reason for all of it."
I nodded and looked back down to the letter. She apologized a lot, but she's just looking out for herself. I understand it.
"I wanna go see her."
Lauren's eyes went wide, her look turned into worry. "Izzy, you have to be sober. I will not let you visit her like this," she stated. I stood up, "I'm getting better, I want to see her."
"Go home first," Megan said. "Go see your mom, get better there. I'll have Danielle come visit you or something."
