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NEW YEARS - 1990

DANI'S POV

"We really missed you," Mom smiled sweetly, sitting across from me. James, her new husband, sat in the living room, watching TV. "I'm sorry, Mom. I should've called from time to time, at least."

My dad lived down the street, but he didn't seem interested in seeing his only child. I really don't blame him. I moved to LA, and stopped contacting my parents with no real reason. My addiction had been my whole life, and when I got clean I was too ashamed to pick up the phone. The only rehabilitation center that I knew and liked was one in Chicago, my hometown. When I made the choice for myself to either fuel my addiction or quit it, I knew where I'd end up if I chose rehab.

Beau came to my apartment with me, helped me pack my clothes and some sentimental belongs. Surprisingly, no one walked in on my runaway mission. I left one small note of what I was doing, and left for the airport. Beau bought my ticket, hugged me goodbye and watched me get on the plane. I didn't know until I landed that he had called my mom. She picked me up, drove me to my destination and has continued to support me.

"Yeah...well, you're here now and no one is absolutely perfect," she stated confidently. I nodded softly, "Yeah."

Now that I was thinking straight, I couldn't help but wonder how badly I had hurt everyone...especially Izzy. I left impulsively, and I don't remember what I said but I know I said some things a bit too harshly. "Are you thinking about Izzy?" My mom giggled. I abruptly looked at her, seeing an amusing smile on her face. "Beau keeps me updated, and he always asks how you are. He always asks and then says, Izzy's been asking."

I couldn't stop myself from smiling widely. My cheeks warmed up and my eyes burned. There really isn't no specific word I can use to explain how bad and guilty I feel. He never did me wrong, not once and I screwed him over hugely. My mom stood up and looked through her old mail, pulling out a photo. "Now I don't know him, all I know is stories, but I have to say...I saw that and I saw two people who love each other," she said, handing me the photo.

"He really loves you."

The photo was of me and Izzy was one I haven't seen. Our faces didn't show, the photo looked like an accidental take. It was bright, and warm. I could remember his hugs, always wrapping his arms around my waist. My favorite hugs were when I wrapped my arms around his neck and just stayed there for a minute or so. I never wanted to leave those hugs. I hated when his touched left.

"Oh, there's a note too. I promise I didn't read it," Mom laughed lightly. She handed it to me and left to join James in the living room.

I hesitated to open it but curiosity got the best of me

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I hesitated to open it but curiosity got the best of me.

Danielle,

I really don't know what to say exactly. You need to figure things out, I get that. I wish you could've told me more, but I have a good idea of what's going on. If you're wondering, no one hates you. We all miss you though.

Charlie and Duff finally decided to work things out. Axl and Lauren are officially dating, finally. Steven and Megan are...existing. Slash started flirting with that chick from the cafe, the redhead. He seems to be into her, and she hasn't really expressed much besides disgust. "It makes the chase more entertaining" he says.

...I can't leave this letter without saying I really miss you, Dani. I miss your weird vanilla-lavender combo scent, I miss your monthly hair color change. I miss your laugh, your voice. Just don't forget you got a lot waiting for you, if you ever do want to come back.

God, I sound like a guy from one of those hallmark movies you like. That's your fault...just saying...you probably like reading this junk, huh?

anyway, sincerely yours
Jeffery

"Damnit."

IZZY'S POV

"She never wrote back, huh?"

Axl sat next to me, handing me a beer. "Nope, I kind of stopped anticipating anything from her a while ago," I laughed bitterly. Charlie slapped my shoulder, "Don't lose faith in her. She needed help, Iz."

Lauren nodded in agreement, and sat back into the sofa. "She looked like crap that morning too. She had hit rock bottom, just be glad she knew that well enough to get help."

I wondered about her everyday. What is she doing everyday, what's her routine look like? Is anything from what it used to look like? Morning breakfast with the radio volume at maximum. Afternoon adventures and shifts at the library. Evening dinners at fast food restaurants and late nights of cartoons or documentaries.

Three months have passed since she left. I never realized how lonely it is without her. The band doesn't hang out anymore. Someone is always busy with other parties or something. There's no studio time, no rehearsing. We barely talk to each other.

Since all of that, I decided to work on getting sober too. It's rocky, but I'm getting there. Kinda proud of myself, to be honest.

"You think she's gonna come back?" Steven murmured just loud enough for everyone to hear. We looked around, shrugging and giving clueless expressions. Lauren wanted to say something but she bit her cheek, keeping it from escaping her mind. Charlie had a similar expression. "Lauren?" I called her name, and her eyes widened. Like a deer in headlights. "You know something?"

She shrugs, "It's just...she packed a lot of her stuff, Izzy. I don't know what that means, but that's odd if it's just a trip to rehab."

"

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