Sinead's Point of View
It's been only 3 days since you've died.
In those 3 days, I've learned so much about everything. The pain of loosing someone so near and dear to me, the pain I felt inside, seeing everyone hurt, it's a lot to deal with. I even felt so low that I thought of taking my own life just to be with you, Katy.
I still feel that pain, but I know that it's up to me to keep your memory alive. I'm surrounded my loved ones who would be devastated if I died. But Katy, you will never understand how much all of this hurts.
I stayed with my mum after the funeral. I couldn't go home to be with only Freddie, I needed my family. That night, we remembered you in the best ways. We talked about you, looked at pictures of you, etc, etc. I always pushed my family away, but I realised how important they are to me. In fact, they're my favourite people. They love me for me, and that's a lot to handle, I know.
"Sinead, come on love, get up Tony's making breakfast" I heard my mum say. It was 8 in the morning, so early. I got up from the couch and smelt the pancakes that Tony was making with fresh fruit. They smelt so good, my mouth was watering just at the scent of them. "Mornin' Sinead" my brother Finn said as he kissed my head.
I smiled at him and grabbed the cup of coffee my mum handed to me. "Has anyone seen Freddie? Where'd he go last night?" I asked, just now realising my husband was missing. My mum sat down next to me and said "He told us last night at the Hutch, that he needed to get away for a bit. Him and the entire Roscoe clan took a vacation to France, he said they should be back in a week or so." I set down my cup and just nodded. "Not to worry, we're gonna do something too. It's best for us to get out of here and do something to help ease your mind, our minds off of Katy" She continued.
The family sat at the table and we ate our breakfast. It was so good. After we stopped eating, Dee Dee started to cry. Diane got up but I grabbed her arm "Sit, enjoy, i'll get her" I said with a smile. After all, she was my little sister even if not genetically, I still love her. I walked into Ant and Dee Dee's room and picked up Dee Dee.
"What's all the cryin' for, huh? You always gotta be causing some sort of noise, don't ya?" I said playfully while bouncing her in my arms lightly. Holding her made me feel many things. It was hard, the twins and Katy were close in age. Whilst I was holding Dee Dee I peaked my head up and saw my mum in the door frame looking at us.
"You know Sinead, you got a way with kids, she never settles this fast for Ton or I!" She said. I giggled, and said "She just likes her big sister is all" and winked.
My mum was right, I needed to be with family like Freddie needed his. I couldn't wait until we decided on where we were traveling to, I need the distraction before I go completely insane or batty.
3 days, not easy, only harder, as though I miss you, Im learning to grieve for you too. Katy O'conner, be free.
After discussion, we quickly packed our bags and headed for the airport, California here we come! I couldn'y be more excited. It was me, mum, Finn, Tony, the twins, and I was able to drag Esther along with us too.
We arrived at the airport and my mum stopped right before we boarded.
"Sinead, we made something for us to complete in Katy's name. A bucket list..."
I felt my entire body go numb
"Sinead, please, say something.."
