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Love
What is love?
Don't ask me, I wouldn't be able to tell you.
Or maybe I could tell you, but I'm too scared to.
Maybe I'm too scared to admit when I care for someone. Because every time I do they are taken away.
It started when I was little. I had a loving mother and father, a safe and happy home with friends. I was told I had a heart of gold as a child. Oh how that changed. I don't know what happened to my father but something in him must have snapped, because one day he came home acting rather strange. I thought nothing of it. But I wish I had. The next, and last image I ever saw of him was the look of a crazed man. He had killed my mother in cold blood as she welcomed him home with a nice dinner and a hug. He stabbed her in the back more than just one way. He would run out of the house, later to be shot by the military police, and I would be given to another family.
I grew to love this family just as I could. But they were taken away from me as well. The day the wall fell. Eaten, and crushed in front of me. I never saw my friends again.
So I grew up by myself. I had decided to join the scouts as soon as I could. I had no reason to live so why not go out in gloury. I had promised to not get close to anyone. But that changed when she walked in. She was caring, kind, food driven, and fun loving. Her brown eyes are soft and caring, and would turn almost gold in the sunlight. I had built my walls up, but she knocked them down in a matter of seconds with her smile.
I thought I could do it. Get close to someone without feeling scared to lose them. I did for a while, until the dream. Even in my dreams I was losing people that were alive in well. So I distanced myself. Maybe if I did that she wouldn't die, she would be okay, she wouldn't be taken away, she would stay.
"Y/N!!"
Sasha
I wanted to look back and pull her into a hug. Show her how much she meant to me.
"Y/N wait up! Stop ignoring me!!"
She pulled me back gripping onto the sleeve of my jacket.
"Please let go" I muttered. How could I not hug her, I was hurting Sasha. But it was for her own good right?
"No, No I won't let go!" She yelled, "Why are you ignoring me? Did I do something wrong?"
I watched tears streamed down her face as she looked at me. I had never seen her get upset like this. Well unless it was food.
"No you didnt do anything wrong"
"Then why! Why are you ignoring me?" She hiccuped.
"I..Sasha.."
"NO! Don't give me an excuse, tell me the truth." She cried, "Please"
"It's because I care too much, I care so much about you Sasha!"
"Then why are you ignoring me?"
"Anyone close to me always seems to be taken away from me..I don't want that to happen to you"
"It wont"
"How do you know!" I cried holding onto her hand, "I don't want to lose you, I can't!" I squeezed my eyes shut wishing I hadn't been born in this world. Maybe in another life things would be better. Maybe I could be with Sasha without out fear of losing her.
I felt warmth on my lips. My eyes shot open. Sasha was so close her lips were on mine. Even while crying she was so beautiful. Instincts took over, and I immediately deepened the kiss wanting Sasha. My hands made their way to Sasha's side and pulled her closer. Sasha gasped lightly and pulled away.
"I'll stay" She whispered putting her forehead against mine, "I'll stay"
New tears pricked my eyes. Not because of sadness, or fear, but because my heart was swelled with so much warmth. This was love.
I sniffed and laughed lightly pulling her into a hug gripping onto her fabric.
