Forever an Actor~

I cant lose you

(Johnny pov)

I can't.... I can't live without her. When we got the news, it's like I was drowning. I couldn't breathe or think straight, the light in my eyes left. Pony was there for me and I appreciate it, but I just can't live.

She meant the world to me, she was always there. When I first met her, she saved me from the socs. Let me tell you, she is one tough girl, or should I say was.

"Johnny breakfast" I climbed out of darrys bed and made my way to the kitchen. There was some eggs and bacon on the table. All of the guys lazily got up and walked over to sit down. We all started to eat, when we heard the front door open. I'm walked Dallas with some girl.

Let me catch you up real quick. Dallas left the hospital when we got the news, when I woke up he was on the couch. He eventually left and didn't tell me where he went. I could tell he had been crying all morning. I guess he went out to find some girl to take his mind off things.

Dallas and this girl took a seat on the couch, not even 2 minutes and they are making out. All of the guys were fixing their plates, when Dallas walked over to his seat. All of the seat were full, except for one... Mays. This bitch got up and sat in Mays seat, and started eating. All of the guys were watching her as she sat there looking innocent. The rage in me grew, I clenched my fists just watching her. That seat is reserved for May and her only.

I got up and walked over to the girl.
"Hey there" she said with a bright smile. Her bright green eyes looked at me just like May. She kinda looks like her, but she will never be her. My mind went dark, I grabbed her out of the chair and threw her to the floor. I promised myself that I would never hit a woman, I never said I won't drag one out of a chair.

"Dallas get this girl out of here before Johnny kills her" Darry said in a demanding tone.

"Make me" I knew from this line, that Darry was not going to give Dallas anymore chances. I decided to take a walk while Darry handle dal.

The walk was long, hot, and tiring. I ended up at the park where ponyboy and I went to clear our minds. I decided to lay under the tree and close my eyes. Maybe if I dream about her, then she will be here with me....

(30 minutes later)

"Why would you look who it is" I opened my eyes to see bob, man this guy has impeccable timing.

"Just leave me alone" I said, not really caring what happens. He got closer to me and grabbed my shirt.

"You look like you could use a beating" I could smell the alcohol on his breath, I swear he must own a bar by now.

"Do as you wish" I said and rolled my eyes, awaiting the pain to come. He began to punch my face, making large gashes with his rings. Another guy came along and started to kick my ribs, probably breaking some. I felt so numb, the pain was nice to feel. Don't get me wrong, this sucks, but I need it.

"I'll see you next time loser" yelled bob as he walk to his car. I laid on the ground, giving myself a second before I stood up to walk to the Curtis house.

As I stood up, my vision went blurry. They got some good hits in today. While I walked to the house, I took off my shirt to clean up some of my face.

"ITS MY FAULT SHE IS DEAD!"

I walk in to the house to see Dallas with a knife in his hand. Panic started to fill me.

"D- Dallas p- put the knife Down please" he turned to me with shock in his eyes. He hated it when I see him like this.

"Look I can't even protect Johnny" he said between sobs, bringing the knife to his wrist making a long, deep, vertical cut. I rush over to him, trying to stop the bleeding. Steve was trying to pull me away, but I wouldn't move.

"LETS GET HIM TO THE HOSPITAL NOW!!" I scream with tears filling my eyes. All of the guys helped carry him to the truck, placing him in the bed with me, twobit, and Steve, pony and soda were up front with Darry.

"Please don't leave me too dal, I can't lose you too" my hands were firmly around his wounds, blood spilling by the second.

"I- I'm sorry j-Johnny" he said barely a whisper, before his eyes closed.