The Sea Does Not Forgive

Nikolai

  Zoya's visit in the night left Nikolai awake well into the dawn. It was ridiculous, she was his general. But the image of her black hair falling over her shoulder and the way her nightgown and coat fit her body was an image stamped into his brain that he couldn't remove. When morning came he worried more about how he was going to survive the next month nearly alone with Zoya.

  They had a departure time at noon. Enough time to pack leaving plenty of room to ride to Os Kervo and board a ship. He packed silently letting his mind wander. It was a bad idea because instead of solidifying their plan, all he could think about was Zoya He supposed that was fitting when moments later she was knocking on his door.

"Come in!" he called.
"Are you finished packing? The carriage leaves in fifteen minutes."
"Yes, yes. General Nazyalensky always concerned with the time. You know if you weren't my closest confidant people would think you were my wife."

He swore he saw her cheeks flush, just the slightest. But one look at her eyes let him know that was wishful thinking. Most men coward at her hard stare but Nikolai found it endearing, beautiful even. Her hair was held up by a blue ribbon and her thick ponytail had a few strands falling over her shoulders. She snapped her fingers to grab his attention again.

"Packing, carriage, ten minutes?"
"You said fifteen-"
"You take too long."
He stared at her, his mouth agape. She rolled her eyes and turned to leave. "Ten minutes!" she called.

Eight minutes later he was at the stables, his bag packed and in the carriage. Zoya arrived and looked him up and down.

"I'm early, aren't you proud my lovely wife?"
She scoffed, "A wife might actually be able to get you down here earlier than two minutes before we're meant to leave."
"I'm on time aren't I?"
"Barely."

Once Tolya and Tamar had arrived, they left Os Alta and started toward Os Kervo. The ride was silent for the most part. Zoya spent her time playing with the cuffs on her kefta, or keeping a close eye on the land outside the carriage. Nikolai spent his time looking at the ceiling, trying to map out a plan for the waters should trouble arise.

He was a good captain, an even better fighter. But should a sea whip like monster, or multiple sea whip like monsters attack, he wasn't sure what to do. Tolya or Tamar could just as easily drop their hearts, but beasts of bigger sizes required more effort and he wasn't sure if they had the strength.

Zoya could strike the creature or bring a storm to disorient it, but that meant the fear of lighting striking the ship and setting it on fire. Sheer man power might bring the beast down, but that wasn't a risk he wanted to take. His face must've looked strange because Zoya seemed to notice his internal struggle.

"What's wrong?"
Nikolai brought his eyes to hers, "I don't know if I want to tell you."
"What happened to 'my closest confidant?'"
Nikolai sighed, "I'm worried about our ocean travel. I know you aren't, but if something happens, I don't know how we're meant to fight it off and right ourselves."
  "You really let Tamar get inside your head?" He looked away and she sighed, she was very good at that lately. "Look, I'm positive we don't need to worry, but because you are, I'm only gonna say this once; we're here for you. You've got a whole team which means together, we'll figure it out and kick some serious sea monster ass if we need to."
  Nikolai smiled, "Miss Nazyalensky-"
  "I swear if the next words out of your mouth are something about me being 'sweet' or forgetting I'm 'super cynical' or saints forbid something about being your 'wife', I will find a way to kill you in your sleep and feed you to the sea monster as bait."
"Well, I was just going to say something about how I didn't know you cared, but it is nice to know I'm in your head."

Zoya rolled her eyes and reverted back to the window. This woman would be the death of him, he knew it, and he didn't care. They stopped in a small town outside of Ryevost for the evening. People didn't need to know they were leaving, so sticking to smaller towns was for the best. Not wanting to cause suspicion they rented two rooms rather than three or four at the inn.

The pub that was downstairs served nothing but stew, and Nikolai was sure something, if anything everything, in the stew was moldy. They took it back up to where Tamar and Zoya would be staying.

Zoya took a spoonful and poured the sludge into her bowl. "I'd rather starve than eat this vile concoction they dare to call food."
"It's not that bad," Nikolai took a sip... a bite? Before promptly retching back into his bowl and putting it in on the table. "Yeah, I'm not eating that."

Tamar and Tolya exchanged a look before setting theirs on the table too. Zoya leaned back in her chair and crossed her arms.

"So, we arrive in Kribirsk on Wednesday and Os Kervo on Friday. That gives us what? Two weeks to reach Ketterdam? That's more than enough time."
"If we don't run into any trouble between here and Os Kervo or on the waters." said Tolya.
  "I won't say this again: the waters aren't cursed. It's just a few rough tides, you all need to calm down."
  "I'd like to see you laughing when a sea viper grabs you and drowns you." shot Tamar.
  "The day that happens is the day I start praying to your precious saints."
  "Okay!" Nikolai shouted, stopping a very angry Tamar from saying something that would most likely escalate and give away who they were. "Why don't we just go to bed?"
  "I'm not sharing a room with her."
  "Believe me storm witch, the feeling is mutual."
  "Okay, Tolya. Would you-"
  "I- I'd really rather not."
  Nikolai groaned and rubbed his face. "Well then Tamar you don't really have a choice. I need one of you with me, and I'm not willing to punish your brother for your guys's silly feud."
  "She's disrespecting the saints!"
  "Only because they've never once helped me. Why worship someone who only ever gave me pain."

  Nikolai saw the realization of what she said hit her face. In a flash she was back to stone cold Zoya.

  "It doesn't matter. Look I'll shut up about it, just don't expect me to start believing in them."
Nikolai looked to Tamar, "Can you deal with that?"
"I suppose."
"Great. Then I will hopefully see you both alive and well in the morning."

With that, him and Tolya moved to their room across the hall. Nikolai had finished washing his face when Tolya knocked on the bathroom door frame.

"Yes Tolya?"
"Can I have permission to speak out of turn?"
"Yes."
"What is it that you love about Zoya?" Nikolai made a confused face, "She's harsh and cruel. But you keep her around, and I see your face. You love her. But why?"

Those words struck Nikolai's heart hard. He went silent just trying to process what Tolya had said. He didn't love her. Maybe he did, but only as a friend and his general. Not the way Tolya was implying.

"I don't love her. At least not like that. She is cruel and harsh, but my counsel needs someone like her. She makes the tough calls and keeps us alive. We all know it."

Tolya nodded and walked back to the bed, but Nikolai knew Tolya didn't believe him. He sighed before going back to the bed as well.

"You take the bed. I'll sleep on the floor."
"No. You are the king, I shall take the floor."
"Tolya-"
"Please."
"Fine. But if you're tired from a bad nights rest, you only have your self to blame."

That night was just as restless as the night before. Maybe even more so. Tolya's words racked through his brain. You love her.

"I don't." he mumbled. So why couldn't he get rid of the thought?

He forced his mind to return to the waters. Then to Ketterdam. Mind on the mission, he though. I can't afford to falter. Not when my country is at risk. He closed his eyes and forced sleep to come. They would have long days ahead of them, and he was positive sleepless nights would come with. He intended to take advantage of the sleep he could get, even if it was very little.