America the poor: A Wanderers Tale, Volume One

Chapter 7: Excerpt, The Nature of Friendship

So why do we feel a need for friendships? Seems to be quite prevalent across races and cultures universally. I've always wondered about that. Humans can be quite solitary creatures, and very self-sufficient in general, under the right conditions.

In ancient times, in the early days of homo-sapiens, I would imagine they banded together as a simple but effective survival tool. Consider it for a moment, a single human creature has little to no chance against a saber tooth tiger, or a mammoth, or something similarly large and hungry. We were not seen as intelligent beings, but as dinner, or maybe a light snack, nothing more.

We would pose far more of a digestive problem than a resistance issue. We were frail in comparison, and amazingly weak, compared to many other species. Far more of an aperitif than a threat. Individually, we were to be hunted down, and eaten, nothing more. Our strength was in our intelligence, and the ability to band together, and collectively hunt, and also strategize.

As individuals, we were merely a snack, but as a tribe, we would become the most formidable force the planet had ever seen. Mankind would eventually become the top of the food chain. So this "banding together" accomplished far more than any single human individuals could at the time. They not only survived, but thrived. Friendships, or at the very least cooperation was necessary back then, not for social reasons, but for their very existence. Individual humans were less successful at staying alive, and usually ended up being digested by some very formidable creatures of the time.

Did early men really want to help each other? My theory is no. In my lifetime, I've mainly experienced the credo "every man for himself", and to hell with our fellow man.

I suspect early humans only banded together in tribes for no other reason than survival. Personally I don't believe they really wanted to socialize, or be around others of their kind. It was out of necessity, nothing else. Or, if anything, the ability to find a mate, which is much harder if there are no other humans within a 50 mile radius.

So they banded, and became tribes, instead of just individuals, and spread throughout the world. Eating other species, instead of becoming junk food themselves.

Once in a while, an individual would try going off on their own, either by personal choice, or being ousted by the tribe. They probably didn't last very long back then, it was a harsh environment. So, enter more modern times. Are friendships still necessary for our survival as a species? In this day and age, we still need to cooperate to survive, to a certain degree.

Most humans have to do some form of work to survive. Being dinner for a bigger predator is not much of an issue these days, surely, but we still have to make an income, pay bills, buy food, find mates, etc.

But are friendships still needed for this? Is this the only reason that humans ultimately cooperate? What is the idea of friendship even based upon now? Mutual survival? Or do we have an ingrained need to be among our own kind, and to be accepted? I'm still struggling with this question. Maybe it's chemical? Perhaps we have a need to accept, and be accepted by others. Sometimes by many others, but maybe just one in some cases.

Companionship, camaraderie, a fellow human soul to relate to, to share the miseries, as well as the few joys we may have. Sometimes these needs are met by having a mate, but maybe it can be equally rewarding with just a kindred soul to talk to? Another similar being to share our time with, and the disappointments with as well. To commiserate, and celebrate life, and existence itself.

Yes, we can be solitary creatures, but friendships can add to our own existence, or subtract, in some cases. If we are indeed alone among all the stars, isn't it a natural thing to comfort each other, in whatever small ways we can?

Mankind can be a solitary creature, no doubt, but he can also make good use of social structures, in fact, most humans lean towards them. Friendships, associations, clubs, leagues,or just drinking buddies. Maybe it's all the same thing, and it's very root goes back to early survival necessities, we just don't realize it.

Having another being to talk to, spend time with, or merely commiserate with, gives us something we cannot give ourselves, another voice, a being to reflect our thoughts back at us, and not only do we learn about others, but ourselves as well.

So regardless of how solitary some of us may be, we will always in our souls need another being to talk to, spend our time with, and reflect on who we are. Sometimes just an associate, a friendly face from time to time, or an actual friend.

Friendships are integral to our very being,  if we count ourselves as human. They make life tolerable sometimes. Perpetually by ourselves, we are merely surviving, existing. With at least a single true friend in our lives, we go beyond that, we are actually living life, and that ultimately makes life worth living in return.