Taking Control of Panic

Chapter 9

After we woke up, Tubbo basically forced me to go back home. I didn't want to, but I guess I would have to at some point. I slept decently under the stars with my best friend. It was a little chilly, but it was beautiful.

I looked up at the house with worry. "God, they are going to hate me."

"No they won't. You'll be okay. I'll be right by your side the whole time." Tubbo looked up at me and gave a reassuring smile.

As we entered, I saw Tommy pacing around in the kitchen and Phil sleeping on the couch. I shut the door behind us a little harder than normal too get his attention.

"Ranboo!!!!!" Tommy yelled , ran over to me, and pulled me into a hug. I tried to gently pull him off of me, since I was still angry, but I must admit, it felt amazing knowing that he missed me.

"Ranboo!" Phil said. Tommy must have woken him up. "Where have you been? We've been so worried. And Tubbo? Why are you here?"

I didn't want to speak, because I knew that it would end with me begging for forgiveness and not sending me away, so I looked down at Tubbo and nodded. "He got mad and went to the field to release some anger. I saw a light on and went to see who it was. I brought us pillows and a blanket and we decided to just sleep out there. I'm sorry about the worry. Ranboo is feeling overwhelmed right now, so I think I'll talk for him until he's ready." I always forget that Tubbo can see my emotions really clearly. It scares me sometimes knowing how vulnerable I am to him.

"That's completely okay. We noticed your bad day yesterday. Are you feeling any better?" Phil asked.

I nodded and noticed that my voice finally felt strong enough to talk. "Y- Yeah. I'm better. I'm really sorry." I said as I hung my head down in shame. Tubbo grabbed my hand and traced his thumb over my knuckles to reassure me.

"Aw, mate. You don't have to be sorry. We all have bad days. I think Tommy wants to talk with you, though, so I'll give you some privacy." He said and left the room.

Tubbo pushed my shoulder down so that he could whisper, "Are you going to be okay by yourself?" I nodded and watched as he walked in the same direction as Phil.

"Ranboo. I'm so so so sorry about invading your privacy. I- I went to your room to tell you that dinner was done, but I saw all of your bags were packed. I thought you were going to run away. I didn't want to lose you. I remembered that you write a lot of your plans in your journal. I went to check because if you were going to run away, I needed to tell Phil. I'm so sorry, Ranboo. I was just really worried that I was going to lose you." Tommy said with watery eyes at the thought.

I stepped closer and gave Tommy a hug. "I'm sorry for lashing out on you. It was a really bad day."

"I understand. Trust me, I've been there too. I ran away about three times in the first month because I didn't like that I was becoming attached. It'll be okay. I promise." Tommy said and smiled. "Do you want to train today? I'm bored."

"Sure! I'll go see if anyone else wants to." I said and ran upstairs. I understand why Tommy would be worried, so I forgave him easily and put everything behind me. I ran to Phil's room and saw him and Tubbo. "Hey! Do you want to come train with Tommy and I?"

"It turns out that both Wilbur and Techno have a fever, so I'm going to stay home with them. Tubbo? Would you like to go with?" Phil asked.

"Yeah! What should we work on today?"

"Hmm, maybe teach Ranboo how to use a bow. If he does well, you can continue with the swords."

"Oh!! If we are practicing shooting, can I bring Niki? She's really good at it!"