The Love💜 In Our Soul

chap 6

It was the 3rd day in jejo, kinda fun.
beach, swimming, enjoying the evening walk in streets.
the only weird thing was taekwon and I accidental touches, here and there, mostly when we wanted to pass something, our hands would touch a bit, and every time it felt so weird, electrocuting and knowing him for so many years, and that bloody name. I really hated that familiar sense and I doubted if he had the same feeling or not. I was sure he felt the electricity too, since he said it himself, but I was curious about other things.
_uhm...is that play station urs?...
taekwon turned his gaze from his MacBook to me.
_did u even knock?...
he was laid on his bed and his MacBook was on his belly, probably he was watching drama.
_the door was opened...and yes...I knocked...u were so into ur pc that u didn’t hear it...
I replied and took my lean from the door frame and stepped in his room.
_yes...it’s mine...
_can I play with it?...
_what u want to play?...I don’t think I have much games...I don’t even remember what games I have...
he closed his mac book and went toward the game room, where the play station was.
_why is it in the game room?...most people keep it in their room...so they can play any time of day or night...
I said while following him.
_my mom kinda has ocd...she says anything must be in its place...and she says...any game must be in the game room...
he explained.
_oh...ok...
_so what u want to play?...
he asked as he turned it on.
_uhm...actually I was thinking about...crash team racing...I used to play it when I was a kid...u know...suddenly I just wanted to play it...sorry if its childish...
frankly, I wanted to play with taekwon so I could get to know him, we going to be related soon, so I decided to get close to him on my own way, games! but I don’t know why I said crash, I completely embarrassed myself.
_childish?...kidding me?...I’m a huge fan...of course I have this game...
I was relieved to know that he's a fan.
_we can call seulgi to play too...
_no...she hates video games...cause she always loses...so she never plays...
_o...ok...
I stuttered. my fantasy of playing games with my wife just washed away.
for more than an hour we played different games on play station. and I felt a good progress in getting closer to him.
_ure a good killer in mortal combat...
he said, turning to me, put his hand on my thigh and squeezed it softly.
_only in games...
I rose my hand to take his hand off my thigh and finish this awkward moment any time soon. but as our hands touched, I felt the familiar sense again, and this time 100 times stronger.
it was like I had lost the control of my body.
I held his hand, roaming my eyes between his catty eyes and puffy lips. my mind was blank and the only thing important was the man in front of me. my heart beat went faster and breathe heavier. I only wanted to kiss his puffy lips, fondle his glowing skin, worship him, and hold him in my arms forever.
taekwon stayed at his place, seemed like thinking, his eyes were glued to my lips, and I could hear his heavy panting.
he suddenly attacked me, he put his arms around my neck, slammed his lips on mine.
I didn’t waste any time, took him by his waist and pulled him closer, kissing him back eagerly.
we heard the door opened. it was like reality hitting us hard. we both pushed the other one away and sat aside. immediately an awkward atmosphere merged around the 2 of us.
_dinner is ready...
Seulgi said with a big smile.
_o...ok...
I humbled, I couldn’t look at her in eyes. I didn’t feel any regret or sorry but I felt strange.
I just felt something that I didn’t felt when I hang out with Seulgi or any of those quick kisses with her.
_I’m not hungry...I’m going to bed...
taekwon said and dashed out.

I couldn’t sleep in the night at all, I just kept rolling and thinking "what had come over me?...why it felt that way when I held his hand?...why would I kiss him back?"
the door opened ajar, I rose on my elbow to see better.
_ure up?...
Seulgi said, stepping in, she closed the door behind.
_I can’t sleep...
I said, thinking if I would pretended I’m asleep she would leave.
_why?...thinking about me?...
she said, climbing on the bed, with a naughty feeling clearly in her tone.
_it’s 4 a.m....why ure up?...
I said after I checked the clock
_I had a nightmare...
she said and laid on me, put his head on my bare chest, wrapping her arms and legs around me.
I decided to give her a little time before kicking her out.
after some sec she put a kiss on my chest. I didn’t show any reaction, not in the mood.
she kissed her way up my neck.
_sorry...I don’t feel good...
_I make u feel good...
she whispered on my lips before kissing me passionately.
I kissed him back, taking the lead of the kiss, switched our place. Just to prove myself this is right, not with taekwon.
I laid on her, kissing her hungrily, I ran my hand under her robe, caressing her belly.
but something was wrong. I didn’t feel aroused or excitement, my heart beat didn’t fasten. but why it was different when I kissed taekwon. with taekwon it felt like a sweet and nice thing and now it felt like I’m doing this like it’s a duty.
after some struggles in my mind, I parted my lips from her neck, stayed in the crook of her neck for a sec, doubting my decision another time.
I got up, sitting with my back to her.
_sorry...I can’t do it now...I don’t feel good...
_wanna talk about it?...
she asked kindly.
_no...I’m just sleepy...
she put a peck kiss on my left shoulder, and left in silent.

***
I opened my eyes, finding myself in a ceremony.
there are a lot of people, and no one cared about me, no one take an even glimpse at me. it was like I was invisible in their eyes.
WAIT!!
does it mean I can see?
I looked around myself in shock.
I can see. It’s the first time I see in my dream. and it’s my first different dream.
_what are u waiting for?...
I turned to the voice. an aged man with a woman, they were waiting for me. what should I do? I looked back at them questioning.
the man took off his coat and threw at me, I took it off my face. then he helped his wife to taking off the coat then threw it at me again. they rolled their eyes at me and left.
does it mean im a servant?
I turned around but I couldn’t find anywhere to put down the coats.
_hey let me help u...
someone said and took the coats from me, he went in a door right next to me. I followed him in. it was a big room with a lot of hangers.
_ravi...I tried to find u the simplelest job...just help chansub in arranging guests’ coats...
I looked at her. she was an aged woman. to my surprise I knew her name, I don’t know how, but I knew her name.
_tnx seohyun...
I said simply.
_he's a gardener...so be easy on him...(she said to the young boy then turned to me) Ravi...take this chair...sit whenever ure tired...don’t forget his my favorite...(she said this to the boy and left)...
the young boy went out, I turned to follow him where I found a mirror next to the door. I looked at myself in the mirror. I was in a Gucci suit and tie. I never had this suit and tie before. it’s for around 60s. how is that possible.
is it really a dream?
I looked at myself all over again, not believing I can see in a dream. I saw my hands. to my shock, they were so ugly, with a lot of scars and calluses on them. they weren’t my hand, they looked like a worker's hands.
I helped the young boy in arranging coats.
_so...want to tell me how a gardener afford a Gucci suit?...
he asked and looked at me waiting for a reasonable answer.
_young master gave some of his old suits to me...
I replied. I don’t know where that answer came from but I felt I have to say this.
suddenly a loud cheering voice was heard.
_it’s like the bride is walking down the aisle...lets go and watch...I heard she's so beautiful...
he said, took my arm and dragged me out that room.
the bride was walking down the aisle. she truly was beautiful.
_I heard the groom is forced to this marriage...these rich people they do anything for money...
the young boy said.
_it’s a contract between tow companies...
I said, not knowing where that came from. I just said it.
I turned my head to look at the groom. I shocked. I couldn’t believe what I’m witnessing.
there he was standing. taekwon was in the alter. but something was different. he had black hair. suddenly taekwon who wasn’t really taekwon rose his head, our gaze locked. he wasn’t taekwon. those sad and red eyes.
_sorry...
he mouthed to me.
_Leo...
I mouthed.
***

I opened my eyes shout. I was panting and cold sweat all over my body.
I was ached over. I sat at my place with a lot of pain and effort.
I checked the clock. 11:40 p.m.
I dressed up. flight back to Seoul was at 4 p.m. and I wanted to ease my mind the remaining hours by just sitting and listening to water voice.
I sat on the sands and lost in my thoughts, thinking about the dream I had.
_I’m sorry for what happened yesterday...
I turned my head as hearing taekwon voice.
_it’s ok...
_ure gonna be my brother in law...I don’t want any fight or grudge among us...
_I said its ok...
_it will be the best for both of us to forget...
_I forget what happened yesterday...just leave me alone now...
I growled, not want to hear anything to mess with my mind at that moment.
_I go inside...
he said and left.