Flip: Hiya! It's me, the author, and-
(ominous music plays)
Flip: What the heck is going on-
Me: YOU ARE LYING
Flip: Uh... I have no idea what you're talking about.
Me: YOU SAID YOU'RE THE AUTHOR, NOPE I'M THE AUTHOR
Flip: Oh, this again? Come on, it's the same thing.
Me: No it's not! You're the author's OC, which means you're my OC, which means I can easily kill you here by stopping writing your lines.
Flip: No you c
Me: Whoops! Just did. Anyway, I'M the author. Ignore Flip. Back to your regularly scheduled mess!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
JADE POV
That Oshawott was weird. Jacob, I think? He walked up to Lin, said they knew each other, and claimed I was dating her? Okay, 1: No way. 2: What the heck? What happened? I'm smart, but I'm not smart enough to understand what he was doing.
I just don't- oh, wait, he's talking to me right now.
"Hello?" he asked. "Are you there?"
"...Yes." I replied. "What do you want?"
"I, uh. Sorry for assuming you and Lin were dating earlier. Just, uh... excited to see a friend again, I guess."
"Make other friends besides Lin."
Realizing he might think I meant myself, I quickly added "Or me. Don't make friends with me."
He, unlike everybody else who has ever heard me say that, completely ignored it.
Finally, someone does.
"Alright then," he says, and then leaves.
...I'm done conversing with people for the day.
I'm just going to go home and-
"Ahem! I'm right here! Chespin! Acknowledge my presence!"
There's no mistaking that annoyingly fussy voice.
WESLEY POV
Did he even hear me?
Fine then, he brought this on himself-
"Please don't," he suddenly says.
...How did he know what I was going to do? There's only one logical reason for this...
He's secretly a psychic type!
And since everything I say or think is correct, that previous statement has a 100% chance of being true!
"Just leave," he says. "I don't want to talk right now."
"No!" I say. "I demand you tell me where Lin is! I know you're friends with her!"
"Don't know," he replies.
"How can you NOT KNOW? You're friends with her!"
"Being friends with someone doesn't mean you suddenly have some psychic link."
"...It doesn't?"
"No."
"...Well, I, uh."
"I really hope that was a joke. How can you possibly be this stupid?"
"Hey! I'm not stupid! I'm just really gullible!"
"Your gullibility makes you more prone to becoming stupid."
"Uh... whatever you just said, it's wrong!"
"...That was the least complicated way I could have said that."
"Well I, uh... don't know what the word 'prone' means."
"It means 'likely'."
"...Uh..."
"You don't know what 'likely' means, do you?"
"...Uh... no..."
He sighed. "Just... please leave."
He expects me to leave? No! Not until I know where Lin is!
Then suddenly, he said "Leave. Please. I don't want to talk right now. And, if I'm being honest, Lin probably doesn't either, at least not to you."
I am offended!
...Although, that's probably true.
And since everything I say or think is correct, that previous statement has a 100% chance of being correct!
YOU ARE READING
Jade Chronicles (Pokemon Fanfic)
Fanfiction"We should be friends!" "What's a... friend?" "...What?" "I've never been friends with anyone before. I don't know what it means..." "...Then I'll have to teach you." Jade the Chespin and Lin the Alolan Vulpix lead a relatively happy life... until e...
