Blaze has been distant since I practiced with Eva and Mh. Eva returned to train with me, but Mh hasn't she was replaced by Tabitha who kept Eva quiet and never let anything slip.
Often when I passed Blaze's room she was talking with Mh, Gigi, and Octavia. I wasn't brave enough to go in and talk to them though. I just felt so intimidated by Octavia and now I'm wondering if I was scared of Blaze.
"Hey." My head shot up when I heard the familiar voice who's been avoiding me lately. "Umm let's go for a drive?"
I nodded my head and hopped up to follow her. She kept glancing back to reassure herself that I was still following. Her demeanor was different from how she's been the last few days.
"I'm sorry we haven't talked much the last few days. I've just been dealing with a few things you know-."
"Leader things."
"Yelena we don't have a leader."
"Alright." I rolled my eyes as she grabbed my wrist and stopped me. "Nevermind we're going to ny room."
"Oh?" I looked at her as my breath hitched.
"Yelena I'm not going to hurt you babe. I mean sorry I didn't mean to call you that." She let go and started walking the other way so I followed her.
"Its okay for you to call me that. It was just an accident." She looked back relieved and opened her door. She locked it behind me and saw the concern on my face. "Just for some privacy."
"Alright so what should we talk about..." I rocked back and forth on my heels and looked around as if I didn't have the room memorized already.
"Please don't be scared of me." Blaze stepped forward to stand inches away from my face. She placed her hand on the side of my rib cage trying to read my reaction to what she just said.
"I'm not sure I'm scared of you as much as confused." She quirked her head and smiled probably relieved that I wasn't scared of her or hate her. However I am always confused on how I feel towards her. Right now I felt safe in this room, being this close to her. I felt safe around her, but at the same time I had the waves of unsure thoughts come and go through me.
"What have you and that one group been talking about?"
"A mission...and your fight simulation video." She grabbed a tablet and it appeared of the large tv in her room. "Look you and I both know at this moment right here you were gone...but it wasn't until this moment I was concerned..."
She played the one part over and over again. I was still confused why though. I wasn't seeing what she was seeing. She stopped replaying and it and looked back at me.
"You loose control. You still have the no humanity mode installed in you from Dreykov...I'm worried about that. It could potentially mess things up on how we do things around here. I don't let the girls kill unless I order it."
"So you think you can fix that?" She nodded and kneeled down. I stood there confused until I figured out why. "What the hell are those?"
"My two dogs...Azula, Rhexa say hi to Yelena." The two large beast approached me and I froze.
"They won't bite me right?" I looked at her concerned and she laughed as she turned away.
"I could make them."
"You care about me too much to do that?"
"Is that what you think?"
"Oh no I know you do. It's very obvious that you treat me special." I boasted and she shook her head.
"Whatever."
"So you're done denying it?"
"Maybe you are different than all of them in my eyes. What's so terrible about that Yelena?" She looked at me with an unreadable expression on her face.
"I'm not saying its terrible. I just think quite frankly it's actually a good thing. Maybe you're the one denying the feelings."
"I don't deny feelings nor do I rarely have them."
"Now I don't believe that for a second." She rolled her eyes walking back over to the door and unlocking it. "You can go now."
"And if I don't want to?" She turned and looked back at me with a smile. She wasn't sure how to respond to my constant attempts at teasing her. Instead all she did was walk over to sit at the end of her bed and stare at me.
"Then stay."
I smiled as I walked over and took a seat next to her. Was she being honest about treating me differently or was she saying that to be nice. What if its all just an act for now?
I still barely know these girls. I'm in over my head in these missions and new team. In over my head over these interactions with Blaze. Does anyone else get this much time with the unofficial leader?
"You're overthinking things?"
"How'd you know?" I looked over at her with a small frown and she smiled at me. "No need to...overthink things that is. I could tell by your facial expression. I have a good read on people's emotions even if I myself don't endure them too often."
"Oh come, you have to feel something all the time. What are you right now? Happy? Sad? Worried? Confused?"
"Content. I have no pull towards any of those." I nodded and stood up wishing that days I could have that. Maybe life would be easier without emotions. Is that not our biggest enemy sometimes?
"Take some time in your room to gather your thoughts then come ask me some questions to help clear your mind." She stood up leading me out of the room and we parted ways.
