"Wanna tell me what happened in DC?" Blaze came in and sat down in my room quietly. She left me alone for the whole day and night when we got back from DC, but I should have known that wouldn't last. I knew she would question me about the whole no mercy mode.
"I don't know what to say."
"You didn't have control of yourself. Yelena, that was not you for a few minutes. I need to know what the hell happened back there. If you can't tell me now come get me when you can."
She got up and left my room. Her tone was so dry and her emotion had vanished. She wants to question me about who that was in DC, but what happened to the girl who told me that she loves me right before we left for the mission.
Sadly I knew exactly what was going on with her. That was not Blaze that loves me. That was Blaze who leads this team and gets shit done. She will always push feelings aside for effectiveness. She deserved answers though.
So I got up and walked to her room. I didn't want to talk about Dreykov's methods anymore. I never wanted to think about that place, but it will always be a part of me.
"I'm ready to talk. I'm sorry."
"Yelena there's nothing to be sorry for. What happened there wasn't your fault, nor was it really even bad, but I need to know what the fuck that was. I have to keep you safe."
"And how do you plan to do that?" I quirked an eyebrow at her and crossed my arms. She can't control this. I can't even control this.
"You think I don't know how to fix this? Look believe it or not Yelena I went through the same fucking thing! THEY USED ME AS A FUCKING GUINEA PIG YOU THINK YOU HAVE IT SO BAD?! Try to live a day in my life. You. Couldn't. Handle. It."
She sighed and punched the wall. I couldn't believe she just snapped at me like that. We didn't even get another moment to talk before Alex rushed in the room. "What the hell is going on here?"
"GET THE FUCK OUT ALEX! You know its funny here I was thinking life was getting better. I should have known better." Blaze looked defeated as she rushed out of her own room grabbing her backpack on the way out.
"Where is she going?"
"I don't know." I sighed sitting down on her bed. It felt so odd to be in here without her.
"How about the two of us talk?" I looked at her and nodded. I figure if there's things I need to know about Blaze, Alex will tell me.
"Come on, let's go to my room." I nodded following her through the house.
"Why did she just explode on me?"
"Blaze always wants to help people she cares about it's in her nature. You rejected that and it really hurt her. She's gone through a lot Yelena...you just gotta trust her."
I do trust her though. I could barely talk before she got mad at me. I shook my head at Alex. I feel like I should be mad at her. Isn't this partly Alex's fault Blaze is so repulsive to the idea of being close to someone?
"So what do I do now?"
"Give her some space there's no catching her anyways. I have to go make sure she doesn't do anything stupid." Alex told me putting on her watch and grabbing a helmet.
I sighed walking back inside. Well here I was thinking even with Alex and Kate being here things would be fine, but then I fucked it up.
"No one has gotten her that upset in awhile?" I looked up at Octavia who had a small smile on her face. She stood in the doorway with her arms crossed over her chest. She refused to enter the room. Its as if there was an invisible barrier holding her back.
"You no longer hate me?"
"Never hated you Belova...I was afraid that you were going to hurt her. I see that I wasn't exactly wrong."
"I don't get it...why is that you are so standoffish?"
Octavia chuckled and shook her head. "You know Belova, one thing I hate about this world is that there's 7 billion people, yet 14 billion faces. I don't hide my bad side to keep people to stay. I show my bad side and see who stays there's a big difference between me and others for that reason."
I nodded. I wish I was that brave. I wish I had the mindset and stability to hold onto myself rather than change to fit those around me.
"You're different Yelena. I can tell. Don't screw it up with Blaze." She walked away and froze stepping back and looking at me one more time.
"Don't hurt her. I promise you don't want to deal with what comes after that."
"Is that a threat?"
"That's a promise. Her sister did me wrong, but she stood by my side, always."
Great. Octavia has a death wish towards me. I knew I shouldn't have made a move on Blaze. I brought the shovel out for my own grave. I walked my self into this situation now I need to fight my way out.
"YOU GUYS!!!" We all ran out of the room we were in and approached Clarke who was screaming. Everyone looked at her silently and I looked around. Shit no Alex or Blaze, where are they?
"Kie was killed." Everyone began talking at once after Clarke let out a deep breath.
She tried to quiet them down and after many failed attempts Octavia yelled to regain everyone's attention. We all turned to Clarke again and Octavia avoided all eye contact.
"Blaze has been kidnapped...Alex is hurt."
"What?! We have to save them! Where is Alex?" Kate put her hand on her head worried. I took a few steps back. She only left because I upset her. This is all my fault.
