Stay

Chapter 20

Kirstie’s Point of View

It was 11:45 and we were leaving for Dr. Miller’s office. I looked over at Avi and he seemed to be focusing on the road EXTRA hard.

“Avi…” I asked quietly.

“Yeah…” He answered.

“Are you mad at me?” I asked, once we got to a red light.

Head whipped over at me. “No! No, no, no, no, no!” he reassured me, rubbing my arm. “I’m just worried! You’ve been having these dreams for a while now…”

It felt like someone just took 1,000,000 pounds off my shoulders. “Thank God! I thought you were angry about, you know… slapping you.” I motioned to the bruise on his cheek.

“Eh, I’m used to it,” he shot me a smile then started to drive again.

We drove for another 10 minutes before we got to a large building with what looked to have MILLIONS of windows.

“I’ll pick you up at 1:30,” He said as he parked the car in front of the entrance.

“Wait, you’re not coming?” I asked, looking at him.

“I can’t, he says it will mess with the session or whatever…” He said, making quotation marks then letting his hands drop to his lap.

“Well, I’m gonna miss you,” I leaned over and gave him a kiss goodbye.

“Love you!” He called from the car as he drove away. I smiled as his hand flew out of the window, I’m guessing throwing me a kiss.

I turned around and walked through the glass doors. Right as I entered, there was a large half circle desk with a mid-thirty woman sitting playing with her pen.

“Hello, I’m Kirsten…” I was cut off by a man in a black suit, white shirt and jeans.

“Kirsten! I am Dr. Miller, you can call me Eric,” he greeted, extending his hand.

“Oh, well, hi then…” I said, not sure why he was so excited to see me.

“My office is right over here,” he said, gesturing to the glass door to my right. There was a plush red sofa with a smaller chair in front of it.

“Should I just…” I thought out loud, lying down on the sofa like I saw in the movies.

“If you want.” He sat in the chair in front of me and crossed his legs, letting his yellow pad rest on his lap. “So, I’ve heard you have been having bad dreams.”

“Yeah…” I confirmed, looking down at the floor in embarrassment.

“Well, do you remember what they’re about?”

“I remember little snippets for, like, 2 seconds then I forget them…”

“Do words or events trigger those memories?”

“Sometimes. Like whenever I go into the park where all the trees make a little dome over, you know?”

He nodded, scribbling something down.

“Also when me and my boyfriend used to wrestle and if he would land on top of me it would trigger something…”

“Boyfriend?” he asked, looking up from his pad.

“Yeah, the guy that made the appointment.” I explained.

“Do you walk through the park with him or no?”

“Depends, sometimes I invite him sometimes my friends Scott and Mitch.”

“Is it possible being alone with a male is what is triggering your memories? Afraid they might take all the power from you? Do you have a fear of being powerless?”

I sat there, not moving, just looking at him. I never thought of that until he said it.

“Well, I don’t see why it would… I’ve been with them for years! And it doesn’t make sense since they started when I was…“ I cut myself off. ‘Why am I telling him this?’ I thought.

“What?” he asked, still looking me right in the eye.

“Nothing…” I mumbled, looking back at my high heels.

“When did they start, Kirsten?” He asked, a little more stern.

“I don’t know… I… forgot?” I questioned myself. ‘You were about to say it! What was it? When did they start?’

We sat there in silence until I noticed how long I was being quiet.

“Sorry…” I apologized. “It’s just I totally forgot what I was thinking…”

“It’s okay, just take your time.”

I sat there for another minute trying to remember.

It soon got to the point where I forgot what I was trying to remember.

“Second grade…” I whispered.

“What?”

“Second grade,” I said a little louder.

For the rest of the hour he was able to pull thoughts and memories from my mind that I didn’t even know I remembered!

“Well, looks like our first session is over! I’ll see you around I guess,” he exhaled, letting his hands flop on the arm rests of the chair.

“Oh, could I come back later? I’m only going to be here for another week and I would like to go home without, well, you know…”

“Sure! I could see you…” he flipped through his planner, “Saturday at 6:00-7:30?”

“Great! I’ll see you then!” I smiled a big tooth grin and he did the same. He walked me out and gave me a hand shake good bye.

“Nice to meet you, Kirsten.”

“Oh please, call me Kirstie,” I told him, trying to get the smile off my face.

“See you Saturday, Kirstie!” He walked back into the building leaving me on the bench waiting for Avi to show up. Seconds later, I saw the little car of his pull up to where I was.

“Hello, beautiful! How did you like the session?” He asked through the window.

“Fine, I’m gonna see him this Saturday too.”

I climbed into the car and we were on our way home. I told him all about the session and how he, as in Eric, too has had the kind of dreams I have been having.

“Sounds like you really like this guy…” he stated, sounding a little bit jealous.

“Are you jealous?” I asked.

“No, it’s just… well… he isn’t the most disgusting person in the world and from what you’ve told me, it sounds like…” his words trailed off.

“What? That he was hitting on me?” I laughed.  He just shrugged his shoulders, talking his eyes off the road for a split second to show me his worried little eyes. “He’s just being nice!”

“That’s what you say now! But soon he’s going to be sucking your face off!”

“You don’t trust me?” I assumed.

“No, it’s just I don’t trust him! He’ll probably drug you or something…”

“And why would he do that?” I asked, looking at him stare at the road ahead of us.

“Anyone would do anything to even hold your hand, Kirstie,” he turned his head to show his ‘nice save right?’ face.

“Awww! So would you buy me some mac and cheese to hold my hand?” I giggled.

“Anything for you my lady,” he laughed.

I truly love this man… well… and everyone else who buys me mac and cheese.