Pessimist

22 - Resort

After unpacking our things and taking a quick walk around the resort, we found a couple of things to do for the next two weeks. One of the things I was most looking for, though, was swimming or going shopping. Since I had been working overtime for most of my shifts, I managed to save a decent amount of money and even had some left over to splurge myself on, which was a rarity in my life.

Growing up, any money I made either went to bills, food, or my dad's everlasting alcohol addiction as he would steal money off of me in order to continue having himself. I've tried my best to keep it away from him, even going as far as not flashing around my physical card, though on the days I needed cash he always seemed to find my stash and use it immediately.

Was I angry at him? Honestly...I couldn't say I was. It wasn't that I wanted him to steal from me, it was the fact that he was addicted that made me feel so sorry for him. Addiction was an illness, a terribly, horrific one that ropes in people by their mind. It makes them feel good when nothing else does, shows them an artificial light they can reach for when they are surrounded by darkness. I was more upset that I couldn't do much more to help. When I wasn't at school, I was working two jobs and barely got home in time to eat, much less sleep. This caused my grades to be mediocre though I was grateful to get into university where I was focusing on subjects that I am good at.

He was my father by birth but not my papa and even though I spent countless days knee deep in grief and guilt where I figured if I was just a better daughter, if I could just get through high school and gain more money maybe he would love me enough to realise that his family is right here, in front of him. And as time passed after I was kicked out to fend entirely for myself, I lost the resolve to bury myself in it any further and moved on.

Though, from time to time I do still think about what could have been if my mother hadn't died and my father was still his normal, loving self.

"Sophia?" I heard someone call out, making me snap out of my thoughts, dazed and confused as I tried to find the voice responsible.

"What?" I said back, noticing everyone staring at me making me flush red, slouching in my seat and turning my head so I could bury my face in the side of Dean's body. His arm came around to rub my back, a small laugh falling out of him. "Stop staring at me!" My voice came out muffled.

"Sophia, we were wondering what you'd like to do today."

I pulled back, hair messy and face red as I looked at Alex with a pointed look. "Why don't you pick? I'm indecisive and I'll drive you crazy!"

She sighed, sharing a look with Ayesha before explaining to me that we were all voting on different things, the ones with the most of course being the winner. Brandon and Zayn were nowhere to be found and Alyan and Vanessa were silent, sitting on opposite sides of the room with their gaze set on a blank spot on the floor.

"Fine okay um..." I looked at Dean, narrowing my eyes in his direction. "Dean, look me in my eyes."

"This isn't really the time for a couple moment, Soph."

I scoffed, rolling my eyes as I pulled away and crossed my arms over his chest to mimic his regular stance. That only made him smile wider, waiting for my crazy thoughts to spring about.

"I'm trying to mind read what you voted on so I can pick the same."

"Oh, yes." He nodded, pulling back his smile to feign seriousness in order to entertain me. "That makes perfect sense. I can understand why you would do that rather than ask me what I voted on."

Oh...yeah. I suppose I could do that as well. Our little moment (I guess we did end up having one anyway) was cut short by the scoff of Alex, making me look over to see her pretending to gag.