[crossposted from the talk]
they're fifteen and their mind is confused between i like my body and God, another day like this and i'll fucking die. they're caught between the F and M on forms because they want to circle both (the paper says gender) but they know that it's invalid so they circle the .i̶n̶correct choice because they dont want to be ridiculed by who they k̶n̶o̶w̶think they are
theyre fifteen and the red in between their legs is a neon sign that screams THIS IS WHO YOU ARE but they just cover it with pain meds and a tampon because theyre afraid to do anything else because anything else means prescribing to one thing but theyre not just one (they are billion of identities squashed together: aromantic, lithromantic, asexual, genderfluid?, nonbinary?) because one blots out their entire existence.
theyre fifteen and tank tops filled out by their breasts and shorts that kiss the faint scars on their thighs feels as comfortable as ace bandages pulled tight enough under jumpers and basketball shorts that hide their curves. dark pink and winged eyeliner feels as right as sweaty foreheads and smudges of dirt.
theyre fifteen and they stare at pictures of people who know who they are and can be proud of how they look but they just stare in the mirror at their hourglass figure and pointy chin and they think one day but theyre not sure if one day will ever come.
theyre fifteen and theyre head is filled with stars and galaxies and they want to stare at the sky but its always too cloudy and the metaphor within a metaphor is that the stars in the sky is their identity but the clouds are the things that wont click so theyll let the stars stay covered because they were born too early to even come close to them
[[aka i got my period today and im on the verge of either crying or throwing up]]
YOU ARE READING
alimento mori
Randomn. the insomnia-borne jolt of awareness that you will die. write it down before it's gone and let everyone see it because you exist, you exist, that sylvia plath quote running through your head, tattoo it on your veins, remind yourself you are here...
