Ocean State of Mind

Coming Home

I stood in the crowded, stuffy airport as I waited for Ej to grab his bags from the baggage claim. Although I was happy he was back, I knew he'd just be busy with work and that I'd end up being by myself again.

I also accepted the fact that I was lying to myself about my relationship with him. I used to love him, but it's just not there anymore. We hardly see each other and things were really great when he was in Texas. "You ready to go?" Ej asked, walking over to me and snapping me out of my thoughts. "Oh, yeah!" I nodded as Ej grabbed my hand and began walking us out of the airport. "So... how was Texas?" I asked as we got in the car. "It was amazing! I won my case!" He said happily and I smiled softly.

"That's really great, Eej. I'm proud of you! I know how hard you've worked!" I said, trying to sound excited. "And I even got some shopping done!" He smiled. I chuckled and raised my eyebrows. "You? Shopping? Where's Ej and what have you done with him?!" I asked, surprised since I'm usually the one who has to buy everything and he's not one to get souvenirs.

"Yup! But I'll show you tomorrow cause right now I just want to eat some food and go to sleep!" He said, yawning.

"Alright mister! Let's head home so you can go shower. I'll make us some food and then you can get some good nights sleep." I said as we drove down the expressway.

We pretty much talked about his case the entire ride home which I was half listening to because I was extremely bored hearing about the trials and my thoughts may or may not have been invaded by a certain curly haired surfer. You're just tired. I tried to reason with myself.

We pulled into our driveway about an hour and a half later because traffic in LA never seems to die. "Alright, go shower because you stink." I said as we walked inside. Ej feigned hurt. "Oof, I'm offended!" He said before he walked up to me and grabbing me by the waist. "You could always join me..." he whispered, pecking me on the cheek. "Good try, hotshot!" I said, pushing him away smiling. Ej smiled at me before walking upstairs as I walked into the kitchen, grabbing some pasta and pre-made marinara sauce. I turned on some music as I waited for the water to boil. I was humming to myself when my mind once again wandered to a certain curly haired surfer. Ricky.

Is it bad that I'm happy he ended things with Lily? Probably, but at least now I have a shot.

I was well aware that I was falling out of love with Ej, but another part of me didn't want to admit it. I mean, when you're with a person for six years, you realize one of two things: that you're either meant to be, or you aren't. I sighed, reflecting on my relationship as I poured a handful of noodles into the boiling water before heating up some sauce. I never thought I would be the kind of girl who liked another guy while I was already taken, and that guy just had to be Ricky Freaking Bowen. I mean how in the world could you not fall in love with that man?

I need to break up with Ej. I owe him that much and it's not fair to either of us if I keep this little charade up. If I was being honest, I think we both know deep down that we weren't happy anymore and we were just trying to hold onto something that wasn't there anymore. Ej came down the stairs just as I placed our bowls on the table.

"Wow, this looks amazing, Neens!" The raven haired man said sitting down, immediately twirling some pasta onto his fork. "What were you doing up there? You take freakishly quick showers and I heard the water stop like a half hour ago." I asked, taking a bite of my spaghetti "I was just setting up a few things for tomorrow. I want to spend a full day with you because I missed you and Inwant some quality Nini and Ej time. I wanna make it up to you since I've been so busy." Ej said smiling at me. Well that's just great.

"Oh sure! Well I still have to go to work but that means you'll be able to sleep in and then you can come meet me at the cafe!" I said as he got up and cleared his dishes. "Oh ok! Well-" he yawned, "-I'm going to head to bed!" He said, walking over to me and placing a kiss on my forehead before walking up the stairs towards the bedroom. "Ok! Love you!" I said, not meaning it and feeling horrible that I don't. But it's not my fault that I met and fell for Ricky. I smiled, thinking of him and then looked down at my phone. I shouldn't... ah, what the hell.