Give Me Love

chapter fifteen

It wasn't like waking up.

One moment, you weren't there. The next, your eyelids were fluttering open and you were staring at a face, beautiful and sad and leaving all too soon.

Anakin.

You wanted to call out to him, to feel his hands warm your face again. You were so cold— so cold— but for that second of you opening your eyes and feeling his palms cup your face, it was bliss.

And then someone was yelling for the medics and Obi-Wan was taking your hand in his and Ahsoka was shoving her way through to you and Rico was pulling your eyes open and shining a bright light in your face. Your head pounded, mouth dry, body shivering on the cold metal table.

You felt, quite literally, like you had just come back from the dead.

But beneath it all— the ache of your muscles as they relaxed from their rigor, the pounding in your head as your nerves sparked alive and neurons began firing again, the sting in your lungs as they cried out, starved for air— beneath all of that was a hazy warmth, like the glow you get after a good kiss. It kept you calm among the commotion and confusion, holding onto that blissful feeling that had Anakin written all over it, until finally it vanished.

The next thing you noticed, as Rico barked for everyone to back away and give you space and then helped you sit up, was your hair.

"It's... white..." you lifted a strand between your fingers curiously, voice raw and scratchy as you inspected the pigment-less hair in your grasp.

"Y/n, can you hear me? Do you remember me? It's Ahsoka," the Togruta was desperately trying to get your attention despite Obi-Wan's attempts at hushing her. You dropped your hair, reaching for her hand instead.

It slid against yours, warm and rough, and you squeezed it like you were discovering it for the first time.

"I'm here, Ahsoka."

You're not sure why those words caused a tsunami of tears to well up and then spill over her eyes, cascading down her cheeks like a rapid river. You brought your other hand up, stiff and heavy like waking up from a years' long sleep, to wipe them away.

"What's wrong?" You directed the question at Obi-Wan, who looked like he had seen a ghost, and Rico, who also looked disturbingly troubled. "Why am I back in the medbay?" Where did Anakin go?

"What's the last thing you remember?"

You frowned at Rico answering your questions with another question, but searched your mind for him anyway.

"Um... I was with Sabè. We were in her speeder and it was dark and snowy. There was a flash of light and then... nothing."

"So you remember..."

"Remember what?"

Obi-Wan and Rico shared a look.

"Remember what?" You pressed. This was your issue to be dealing with, obviously, so you didn't appreciate them not sharing the details. The only thing you could think of was that you had been in an accident, gotten injured, and then woke up in the medbay again. But if that was the case, why was Ahsoka crying so damn hard?

"You remember your own death."

You blinked once.

My own what?!

"Don't freak out," Obi-Wan began, but you gave him a flat look. Did it seem like you were freaking out? You weren't. Sort of...

Yes, it did freak you out exponentially that they'd thought you died. It was always scary waking up in the medbay, especially after an accident and being obviously hurt. Your arms stung where the glass had cut them open. And it was uncomfortable watching your friends sob over you.