my life story

together only to fall apart again

when i met matthew i got straight i stopped skipping i was sober i wasnt self harming i felt happy for once i got my life together only for it to be destroyed by another heart break when he left it was like i was together only to fall apart again, im trying to get my life together by myself but its hard all these dudes keep trying to talk to me and keeps trying to get into my pants matthew was the only one who wasnt like that i really miss him but ive gotta do this on my own i may miss his smile his laugh, i miss the way he looked at me the way he used to pick on me, i miss when he used to take my ring off my finger and wouldnt let me have my ring back till my finger wasnt green anymore or when he used to let me play with his hair, i miss how he never asked me for nudes and i miss how he actually respected me and my boundries, I miss the small things but theres one thing i miss the most i miss the happiness i used to get just seeing his face, every time i saw him i used to just light up now every time i see his face it hurts, but i think ive got this on my own and i belive i dont need someone there for me, now we get to see how 10th grade year goes beacuse i havent done anything over the summer ive been grounded all summer so ive been alone babysitting so i cant wait for 10th grade year 3 more weeks then i get the painful joy to see his face again in my freind group, 3 more weeks....i cant even rember half of the summer i was never sober i know ive been in the house all summer.