Broken Howl (Twilight)

14

Thursday, March 16, 2006

After a day of school I didn't want to go on patrol, but it was necessary for me to do. After a solid 3 hours of walking around in the forest careful to avoid Charlie and his team of hunters, I heard Sam howl telling us to group back up. Turns out, Victoria had seen Harry Clearwater and tired to kill him but Jacob had intervened and chased her off a cliff. But when Jacob had chased Victoria off, Harry had a heart attack after the scare Victoria gave him. He didn't survive the heart attack.

It had been 24 hours since Harry Clearwater died and Jacob had called me to tell me that Bella flew to Italy with no warning. Sam and Emily were down in the kitchen talking and I wanted to be alone. I leaned back against my head board as I listened to my music through an old pair of headphones. I bit the inside of my cheek as I tried to block out the packs thoughts. They were loud and all of them were grieving in their own ways.

I ripped my headphones out and tossed my blanket off my legs before marching down the hall. It didn't take long before I was standing in the kitchen. Sam and Emily we talking in hush tones like they didn't want anyone to hear what they were saying.

"I'm sorry." Sam and Emily looked up at me from their conversation.

"Maybe if I was with everyone else than maybe I could've helped and Harry wouldn't be dead and that stupid red-headed leech would be and everyone would stoping being so upset and maybe you wouldn't be talking so quietly even though I can't hear a thing you were saying because I had headphones in but that's not important right now..."

"Hey, hey, hey, Alex." I stopped waving my hands around and looked up at Sam as he gripped my shoulders.

"Calm down, you can't blame yourself for this. You were doing your job on the other side of our territory, and if Victoria was in your area than you would've done a great job catching her." Sam squeezed down on my shoulders as he reassured me, well at least tried to.

Emily came over and pulled me to her chest as she hushed me and just rocked us back and forth. Nothing else was verbally said but I could still hear what Sam was thinking. We stood their in the kitchen hugging for 10 minutes till I calmed down. After I calmed down we began making dinner, simple steak and beans with roasted potatoes. It was a quiet night on the Rez.

As I laid in bed I found myself once again thinking about the Cullens. I finally came to the conclusion that it was time that I finally give up hope on them coming back. I won't forget them and I'd do everything in my power to lessen the pain of not having my mate with me. As I closed my eyes and let myself fall asleep, I dreamt of the Cullens and being with Jasper.