failing at life BTS

SUP DAWG. Wait whut?

Helloha, peoples. So sorry I haven't been able to write lately:( I am so swamped with debate and mun and do y'all know about WSC because I'm in it and we're competing soon and I'm like freaking out, there's so much work. I've got so much going on and just ugh, hopefully this'll make up for it.

Anyone else out there like super irrational? Or to put it a bit more nicely, spontaneous? Or is anyone out there just super weird and like to talk about unicorns and food and books and fictional characters and why can't fictional characters be real and why am I so obsessed with my books and anyone like the same music as me and maybe one day I'll give like a whole list of songs I'm obsessed with because I love being obsessed with things and I'm trying to make a super long sentence so bare with me here and I don't even know what I'm writing about anymore and I'm just writing because it's so fun and please someone stop me and uh oh no one is here to do that and so I'm just gonna keep typing random things until I can't think of anything which is now so I'm going to stop here.

What am I doing with my life?

What life? You don't have a life.

Oh yeah....you're right...haha.

You probably hate me right now.

I haven't written in so long I don't even remember how to.

Okay, so I guess I'll start with what I was originally going to talk about until I started that super long sentence. Wanna start with books? Yeah, okay, I'm just going to start with books.

I. Love. Books.

Books=Life. Withouth books, I don't know what'd I do. Sometimes I get into this dark state where I feel real shitty about everything and everyone (please excuse my language) and if you've read some of my stuff from before then you'd know. And everytime I go through that stage, my outlet is books. I read to get away from my world, to become someone else, have a different life in a different world, far, far away from mine. And one side note, to everyone who feels the same way sometimes, I just want you to know it does get better, it always does. Once you hit rock bottom, the only way to go is up. Remember that. And books help, they really do. And another good thing about reading is that you get to try out new music or like find an album and play it on repeat until you finish the book or series like I usually do. I always have like one album per book or series and g!!et really weirded out if I listen to the same album for seperate series, it doesn't make any sense, I know.

Another side note, if any of you want to know what books I like read or the playlists/album for them just ask. It's all you have to do. And then wait 'cause I may or may not give it to you. Lol, jk, anything for you, loves.

Now, let's get down to business with some fictional characters. Starting with the basics for y'all basic girls (lol I don't even know what I'm saying, what does that even mean) : WHO ELSE FANGIRLS WHEN THERE'S A ROMANCE SCENE BETWEEN YOUR FAVORITE CHARACTERS?!!!! C'MON ANYONE? ANYONEEEE???! No one? Oh, okay then..... But seriously, those are always like the best parts, besides the epilogues..UNLESS IT AIN'T A HAPPY ENDING, I'M A SUCKER FOR THOSE. -->hehe that's what she said...lol, why you so pervy, Nichole? Anywho, do you ever wish you could have a fictional character as an actual friend or a special someone? Like why do books make people sound so awesome? Not all people are awesome. YOU CAN'T JUST MAKE EVERYONE AWESOME AND THEN MAKE ME READ THE BOOK AND THEN QUESTION MY ENTIRE LIFE AND WHAT I'VE BEEN DOING WITH IT. *quietly sobs in the corner of a dark room* Sometimes my emotions get the best of me, I apologize.

I really shouldn't be writing right now, I'm supposed to be studying for Chinese class and, ugh, I don't want to, I mean, who would? I don't know if you speak Chinese and I don't know if you think it's cool knowing the language, but lemme tell you one thing: Chinese class sucks. Everything's so hard to understand and yeah sure, I can speak, read, and write it, but it doesn't mean I understand or want to understand the language. And I'm sitting at my desk, right now, typing random thoughts onto my laptop as my Chinese textbook lays wide open in the empty space on my desk. If you can't relate to this or if you like find it weird that I'm talking about Chinese, just think of it as math or something... This, ladies and probably more ladies, maybe gentlemen I don't know, is procrastinating at its best.

This is probably the most random entry I've had so far. I am now going to move on the topic of.....drumroll please.....MY SCHOOL DANCE! Which isn't supposed to be happening until June. Well, yesterday I had debate practice after school and once that'd finished all of us went downstairs to the entrance of the school to wait for people to pick us up. And I really don't wanna jinx anything by writing this so KEEP THIS TO YOURSELF AND TELL NO ONE, OR YOU SHALL SUFFER THE CONSEQUENCES. And don't ask what the consequences are because I have no idea... Anyways, after everyone got picked up, it was just me and my good guy friend, let's call him Ashley, left and right before this other guy, let's call him Hayley, left, Ashley kept trying to get me alone to "talk". When we were alone, Ashley got like real nervous and kept trying to ask me something, but kept chickening out so in the end he didn't say anything. But since a bunch of us we're talking about the dance, and I asked him if he was going to take my best friend that everyone assumed he like and he said no and judging by the way he was acting, I think he was trying to ask me to the dance. Another thing, he also asked if I was going with anyone. SO.....I don't know about anything anymore...sigh...And he was about to say it, but lucky for me my dad showed up and I wouldn't have had to answer. Ashley's been avoiding me all day, too:(

So, I've decided I really need to get some actual work done and this seems like an okay update so I'll leave you with that. Hope you liked my random stories and stuff:)

-nicholeisabelle