"The only thing that keeps me sane is either violence or fucking... so unless you wanna bend over for me, I suggest you let me go." He whispered harshly against my neck, pressing me more against the wall with his body, making my breath hitch.
➖➖➖➖➖...
Ripping his hands from my waist, I could feel Caden closing himself off in front of me. Closing his eyes tightly, he bowed down letting his head fall on my shoulder. He was breathing heavily, each breath fanning against my neck making me shiver. I jumped when he brought his fist up and punched the counter I was sitting on.
When he moved to step back from between my legs, I jumped into action.
I was not letting him run away from this. In order to move on, Caden had to face his demons.
Quickly wrapping my legs around his waist, I locked both my feet behind Caden's back keeping him in place. I wasn't letting him run away this time.
"Move Anaya!" I almost flinched at his tone. Almost. Hardening my gaze, I looked at him.
"No." Snapping towards me, Caden glared right at me before running his fingers through his hair obviously feeling frustrated. He was losing his internal battle. I needed to do something and fast!
But what? Trying to remember everything I had read about panic attacks, I looked at Caden nervously. His hands were shaking and his eyes were flashing with rage.
Touch him!!!
Without thinking, I threw my hands around his neck and pulled him in for a hug. Caden stiffened instantly. Seconds passed with me holding onto him and him standing frozen in my arms. Just when I was starting to think what a bad idea this was and started pulling back, Caden wrapped his arms around me, crushing me to his chest.
Pulling me closer to him, he buried his face in the crook of my neck. I could feel every inch of him. Tightening my arms and legs around him I clung to him and let him feel the comfort I knew he needed. Tightening his hold on me, Caden dragged me forward and starting walking with me still wrapped around him. With one arm firmly around my waist, he cupped the back of my thighs with his other hand. I tightened my legs around him further to avoid falling and let him take me wherever he wanted.
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Moving out of the bathroom, Caden walked towards my bed and sat down, while adjusting me to sit on his lap. I was straddling him but at that moment all I cared about was Caden. Peppermint had officially become my favorite scent.
"I learnt it in prison." He said it so softly that I thought I had imagined it. I kept quiet letting him say what he wanted. Rubbing his neck softly to let him know I was listening, I waited for him to continue.
"When you get into a brawl as often as I did, you have to learn how to tend to your own wounds." I stiffened at that. While everyone was busy blaming him for what had happened, no one had cared enough to think what it would've been like for a 16 year old boy in prison. Shutting my eyes at the realization that I was one of those people, I mentally swore at myself.
Never again...
"I'm sorry Caden.... I'm so sorry you had to go through that." I whispered into his neck.
Shifting, Caden made me unwrap my arms from around him and pulled me to look at me. His eyes were raw with so many emotions.
"I deserved all that Anaya... I deserved worse after what I did." My breath got caught in my throat as I looked at the boy in front of me. My heart broke for him. His so young, and he had been through so much... all alone.
"No one deserves the things you went through Caden." I need to make him understand that no matter what, no matter how much you punish yourself, the past cannot be changed.
"Don't talk like you know everything Anaya. You don't know even a quarter of the shit otherwise known as Caden King!" Flinching at the way he spit out his name, I could feel tears burning at the back of my eyes.
"Don't say that." Whispering, I leaned my forehead to his. Closing his eyes, Caden leaned into me making his hair brush against my face.
"I'm a fucked up person Anaya and I've done even more fucked up things.... If you keep trying to fix me, you'll only end up hurting yourself..." Opening his eyes, he pinned his dark gaze to my blue ones before continuing, "... because I'm as broken as they come baby." Kissing my forehead, Caden pulled away just enough for me to see the flash of emotions in his eyes...
Pain
Anger
And... awe.
Sliding me off of him, Caden stood up.
"Steer clear of me Anaya. I'm only capable of hurting you, nothing else."
Without even a backward glance, Caden walked out of my room, out of my house and maybe... out of my life.
As I sat there starring at the place where Caden had been a couple of moments ago, I realized something...
