SLEEPING AT LAST | bajifuyu

eighteen

"So," Chifuyu scratch his cheek, "Where are you taking me?"

Chifuyu had expected more for a Saturday morning than taken hostage into Goki's passenger seat with the wind hitting his face. The sky is still deep in purple yet to meet the sun's touch, reminding him of the days he spent in his room, a feeling he had long forgotten by now.

"You must come with me," stepping on the shift lever, causing Goki's engine to growl, "I need your help,"

"You could have asked me later, not forcing me here in the break of daw-" his statement cut off after Baji decided to drown his complaints with speeding up.

"Guess what date today is, Chifuyu,"

Chifuyu immediately went silent. November 3rd. Nothing special to note about this day, he believes. The month is composed of nothing but days of compiled projects and exams, and at that, he wonders what could be the latter's reason to wake him up from the ungodly hours.

"3rd of November. Is there something special with it?" he fixes his helmet, almost giving up at the speed of wind rushing, confusion plastered his face as he does so.

Baji's shoulder deflated, unimpressed by his answer, "It's my birthday, dumbass,"

His shoulder tensed, holding tighter on the handlebar at his back, thinking about the dangers of his answer. He tried remembering every conversation he had with the boy, from the time they spent lunch on the rooftop to sleepovers they had every weekend. None came to his mind, unfortunately.

"Are you sure? Aren't you dreaming?" Chifuyu sweatdropped, scratching the back of his neck. Somewhere in his mind wishes that Baji is just dreaming because he is damned if the latter isn't.

"I celebrate it every year?" there's a hint of sarcasm in his voice, passive-aggressive at Chifuyu.

Baji turned his motorbike to the left, leaving the cityscape to a place he plans to spend the rest of his day. He kept his mouth shut for the rest of their journey, occasionally glancing at the scenery before them. The sight of the sea in the morning glory is like a breath of fresh air for him after spending his whole life seeing tall buildings, traffic, alleyways, and his four-cornered room: the unfulfilled life of the city.

"Where are we going exactly?" Chifuyu's eyes fixated on Baji's back, realizing how big it is. Noting that how despite their age he is, in fact, a big person.

"Everywhere,"

And Baji did not lie. They went everywhere, anywhere Goki's tires could reach. They ate ice cream on the sidewalk, taking walks in the woods, touring around places outside the city. They went to a shrine where Baji lived in his childhood, one that his grandparents lived, and spend their time listening to his grandfather. There were times where the boy would interfere with his grandfather, saying something about a promise, and he shouldn't break it by telling Chifuyu.

He admits despite its size—a surprise coming from Baji, who lives humbly—it feels more home than the city. Trees would surround the place, and wind would play between them from time to time. There was the staff that would politely greet them and tours him through every corner of the space. As much as Chifuyu refused their commodities, Baji's grandparents would insist further, guessing their stubbornness runs in the family

In the afternoon, they went to a local ramen shop down the shrine. It's a pleasant place run by an elderly couple. The man, who is the head chef of the store, has a fondness towards the black-haired boy, even showing them how he made his ramen. They told tales of their days, exchanging stories, and Baji even asked if he brings his friends.

It's a change of scenery for the both of them, living every moment until they forget the life they left in the city.

"The sea, huh?" standing beside Baji, his hands rest on his hips, looking at the horizon.

Everyone, who had a common knowledge about seas and autumn approaching the winter, wouldn't recommend such things as standing barefoot at the freezing waters on the shore. But, knowing the boy, he had no such knowledge nor any sense to keep him from dragging their bodies here. Baji is a sentimental type of guy, as Chifuyu would label: those carefree characters who are way too optimistic in life. A thing that he didn't understand at first, and he finds stupid. But, look at him now as stupid as one can be. 

"Seas are just something, man," Baji opened his arms to the welcoming sea breeze, "I used to do this with Kazutora whenever we are feeling bad; it's comforting,"

Maybe the cold had gone up to his head, feeling disdain after hearing his name, pursing his lips to keep himself away from his bashful attitude. Chifuyu mindlessly watches the waves meet his feet, sending shivers up to his nape. However, it wasn't the bothersome cold that bites, or at least for him. There's a hint of comfort in them, just like what Baji had described.

"Sometimes I wonder how your brain works," crouching down open his hand in the small approaching waves, "To go here in the autumn must be nice for a madman,"

Baji laughed, imitating his actions, "They're working just fine, very fine,"

"I think you should give that answer another thought," Chifuyu said, throwing the water he scooped to Baji and running away after.

They chased one another, throwing water, unbothered by how wet they are nor how the cold started biting their skin. All that exists is Baji and him, nothing more and nothing less. Two teens running like an idiot at the freezing shore, laughing around like there's no tomorrow.

'Ah, there it is again, the odd feeling in my chest,' Chifuyu thought while he watches Baji scoop some saltwater, smiling from ear to ear.

There's tingling in his fingers and lightness in his feet like a chord snaps inside him, and he feels the breath of spring despite the chilling cold. The feeling only Baji could trigger, or so what he feels every time he's with him.

"The sea is indeed comforting, Baji-san," sitting down to catch his breath, looking at the calm water in their feet.

Baji sat beside him, "It just reminds me that no matter how lost I am, as long I have something to go back to, I have nothing to worry about. The horizon might be overwhelming where everything seems too blurry and far, but to know that there's someone like a shore that's waiting for you, then you won't be afraid anymore."

"You're right," Chifuyu hugs his legs, turning his head to Baji.

"That's is why I watch them, again and again. Next week, next month, next year, my next birthday, or even my next life. I can't even wait to do this with you and Kazutora again,"

"Really? Your next life?" he tried fighting the scowl on his face, elbowing Baji on his sides.

"You know, a fun fact: I wished to die in someone's arms like how this shore welcomes the waves," Baji laid all stretch out in the sand, not even minding the grains sticking to his wet clothes. "Or at least something close along those lines, at least I know I didn't die alone."

"And, about reincarnation, I haven't thought about it."

They rarely talk about death, or anything related to death, even as gangsters who experience brawls from time to time. Ironically, they have threatened to kill each other, but no one talked much about how they wanted to die or what they want their friends to do after they die. It's a boundary they never dared to step in.

"How about you? How do you want to die? What do you want to be in your next life?" Baji's voice carrying a child-like tone with a conversation such as death almost killed Chifuyu in his spot, and he didn't know how the lad can still surprise him.

"I want to die peacefully, like succumbing to sleep, that's all," Chifuyu said, a smile gracing his lips.

"And, I would rather live this life again."