SLEEPING AT LAST | bajifuyu

nine

It's been five days since Chifuyu had a panic attack, and his mind still can't remember what happened during his episode. He's scared to hurt the person who showed him nothing but care again.

He blamed himself for letting things like that happen, but moments when he saw his biggest fear staring back at him, he completely lost any composure left in him.

Other than drowning in his resentment, Chifuyu spends less and less time sleeping. He wonders if sleep will serve him in his favor. His mind runs tirelessly while his body begs him to rest, but the blonde refused. He refused even to let himself rest for what he did, calling it a punishment.

A knocked on his door caught his attention, breaking him away from his bashful thoughts. Chifuyu can only stare at the door from his bed, too tired to move his aching muscle. His puffy eyes lifelessly linger on the door, hoping that his mother opened it for him already.

"Chifuyu," his mother's soft voice felt like a velvet blanket on his throbbing head, "Son, I know you're in there." her voice cracking up with worry and concern, further feeding Chifuyu's dilemma.

Don't cry for me, mom, he thought, biting his bottom lip.

"It's been days since you went out of your room," she trailed off, taking deep breaths to keep her composure, "Did something happened?"

Chifuyu's mind immediately went to a certain thicked-glasses lad.

"I'm," he tried speaking, but the attempt scratched his parched throat, and it hurts Chifuyu in the process. His hands reached for his throat, trying to ease its pain.

"Your friend kept visiting you every night," his ears perked up with the sudden mention, lifting his head to listen attentively.

"He said you liked this lavender essential oil the most, and chamomile tea helped you sleep last time."

Those words hit him like a bucket of cold water in the middle of winter. Baji did that and still doing that. Even after Chifuyu's episode, he did not hesitate to come every night and bring him his essential oil. Chifuyu wondered what he did to gain someone like Baji, questioning every possible thought about the lad in his mind.

In that night, Chifuyu felt crying. His body, tired from days of no rest, finally gave him its last energy to express his built-up emotion.

"Mom," his hoarse voice speaks through, hoping it reaches its mom's ears.

"I met a weird person," 

_____________________

His door opened, the soft sliding sound caught the blonde's attention. His mind stops from whatever scenario it's playing and waits for whoever to speak. He heard objects that littered his room move, followed by a thump behind him. The room stood still as two bodies refused to break the silence until Baji decided to speak.

"Hey, dude," a familiar deep gentle voice said behind him, dipping on the edge of Chifuyu's futon. He wanted to say something or anything to his visitor, but his body won't listen to his pleas. So, Chifuyu can only listen as Baji speaks to him.

"Your mom knocked on our door, close to crying," he told him, eyes glancing at the cocoon of blankets beside him. Baji didn't mind if Chifuyu wouldn't answer, seeing his friend okay is enough answer for him.

"She said that I have to come and coax you out there,"

Baji thought that the latter might beat himself with what happened the other day, seeing how devastated he was when he saw Baji's state. Baji tried assuring Chifuyu that it was nothing, and he didn't mind it since the boy needed help during that time. But, Chifuyu immediately went home and locked himself up from that point on.

When he noticed Chifuyu's sudden disappearance, he did not waste any time and visited his place. He thanks God that they live in the same apartment complex, taking out the problem of wasted time. Every night Baji tried handing essential oils to Chifuyu's mom, asking questions about his friend's wellbeing.

He also tried asking Chifuyu's mom to tell him that he is fine, and the blonde teen has nothing to worry about him.

Now, sitting beside his tired friend, Baji wants Chifuyu to know that he wants to help him. The man knows that what happened is out of their control, and Chifuyu did nothing wrong.  It frustrated him how the teen beat himself up over something he couldn't control.

"I'm," Chifuyu's hoarse voice cracked as he desperately tried to speak to the man,

"I'm a mess right now. Please leave."

Further encaging himself to the confinements of his blanket, Chifuyu shamefully hides. He wants to end the conversation and be left with nothing but the comfort of his thoughts again. When he thought Baji left—having enough of his pathetic self, but his laughter exploded the whole room.

"Man, you're funny," he claimed, wiping the tears formed in his eyes.

"I'm not the type of person who will leave their friend at their lowest point, and you better remember that."